Senior Lifestyle Writer
Have you been asked out by someone you don’t have feelings for? It’s a tricky situation because turning somebody down is never easy and you need to be extremely considerate while doing so. Here are 10 ways to say no to somebody without hurting their feelings!
Remember, saying no to a proposal isn’t rude. It is your life and you get to make the choice about who stays and who goes. Also, commitment is a big deal and you cannot commit to somebody you don’t have feelings for. So do yourself a favour and tell him the truth. It’s always better to say ‘I don’t feel the same way about you’ than saying nothing.
A clean break is much better than dragging it on or leading him on. He will appreciate it too if you tell him directly about not reciprocating his feelings. If you don’t want to accept his proposal, a ‘let me think about it’ is an inappropriate reply to give.
While honesty is the best policy, you don’t have to be blunt or rub it in his face. Just slip in a compliment when saying no instead of being inconsiderate. Saying ‘you’re an amazing person but I just don’t have romantic feelings for you’ works much better than ‘No, I don’t like you’.
It takes a lot of courage to confess your feelings to someone. When someone tells you they like you, it puts you in a position of power. The most important thing is to not abuse that power. Treat the other person with as much respect and kindness as you can. Be thoughtful of your response and choose your words carefully. Anyone can be in the situation, even you.
Just like he is responsible for his feelings, you are responsible for yours. If you don’t reciprocate his feelings, face the situation head on. Do not delay it or push it off for some other time. There is no ‘right time’ to do something like this. The sooner, the better.
Make sure you thank him for this. Be sure to let him know that you’re grateful for his interest, considering it is a huge compliment. But also at the same time, inform him that it cannot go anywhere because you don’t feel the same way.
Sentences like ‘But I don’t know you enough’ or ‘I’m swamped with work right now and have no time’ set an expectation for the other person. All he hears is ‘let’s get to know each other and then I’ll accept your proposal’ instead of ‘I’m not interested’. So making excuses isn’t the best way out of the situation.
If you’re in a relationship with someone else, be open about that fact. Let the person know you’re seeing someone else and that is why it’s not possible for you to even consider his advances.
If you’re already friends with the person, don’t let the friendship be affected because of his proposal. Unless the other person asks for time away to deal with his feelings, you really shouldn’t ruin your friendship by acting aloof or distant. Remember, he was your friend before any of this happened.
If he is unable to accept your decision or is giving you a hard time for it, the best thing to do in such a case is to cut off contact for some time. Rejection is a blow to the ego and not everyone is able to take it well. Give him time to come to terms with your decision. If it still does not work, get somebody to speak to him on your behalf and make him understand!
Remember girls, this is a delicate situation and should be dealt with maturity and kindness!
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