When a marriage proposal is made, two people decide to bring their lives together and become ‘one’. And that’s simply awesome. It really is.
Calling off your wedding, however, is still such a taboo, a topic only talked about in hushed tones. For me breaking off an engagement is a real thing – a hard thing – but one that must be done if not sure where the relationship is going.
The challenge is this – although a lot of folks assume that the period between an engagement and the actual wedding day should only be about planning the ceremony, reception and honeymoon, it is hardly ever limited to that.
Can you just imagine how hard it is when you have to convince yourself to try and make the relationship work with someone you’re not sure about? Similarly I was trying to convince myself that I feel more for my fiancé than I actually did.
But love should happen naturally. It should never be forced. This includes you trying to make yourself feel something that you actually don’t. I thought my fiancé deserves better and I deserve more.
I once read ‘Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone.’ And you know what? Maturity knows that you need more than love to sustain a marital union. You need friendship. You need mutual respect. You need compatibility. You know what else you need? Good communication. A common vision for your relationship.
People may ignore warning signs because they’re afraid of embarrassment. I am not! It is only wise to be aware of the problems before making your vows. Otherwise, an unhappy marriage or a quick divorce may follow.
Every couple has problems, and it’s tempting to put them aside as you get caught up in the excitement of planning a wedding. If you have unresolved issues that could affect your relationship, they won’t go away while you choose your dress and send out the invitations. They’ll still be there when you return from your honeymoon.
They may say opposites attract, but for a successful marriage a couple needs to agree on fundamental issues. People worry about what relatives and friends will think or feel that they cannot cancel when the wedding is booked and paid for.
However, it could prove more costly in the long run to go ahead with the wedding when you have concerns, and people who truly care about me will understand.
My life and future are at stake, and not just for one single day but for the rest of my life. That is why I called off my wedding. It was tough but I did it and it has to be the best decision I ever made.
Images: Shutterstock
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