The last relationship I got into was a complete disaster. I mean our minds clicked, but in the bedroom, things were off. I don’t know whether to blame it on lack of physical attraction or the communication, but our bodies weren’t in sync. Our relationship took a bitter turn when he told me that I wasn’t good in bed!
Considering that I had been in previous relationships before, my ego was wounded and his words kept running through my mind again and again because never was I told by any of my exes that I needed to work on my love making skills. Every time we met, his words kept putting me down. A few days after, I realized that enough was enough. I stopped returning his calls and replying to his text messages.
So often we tend to be so hard on ourselves that we let people walk all over us. We allow them to say what they want and rain over our parade just because we have a soft corner for them. But this time, I was determined to let this guy go and focus on myself – and that’s exactly what I did.
Maybe the problem was not with me, but a glitch from his end. Maybe, if he communicated better in bed and made an effort to take the lead, the outcome would be different. Maybe, he was just selfish in love and didn’t pay attention to any of my desires. Maybe, if he wouldn’t have kept bringing me down, I would have stayed. But, I’m not that girl. I refused to let his mean comments get the better of me. I didn’t have to hop into another man’s bed to get over him – I am enough.
This is when I first started pleasuring myself on a more regular basis. Masturbation not only helped me satisfy my sexual appetite but also helped me bond better with my body. Each time I masturbated, I discovered something new. It made me feel sexier, more confident as a person and got me better sleep at night.
There are days where I miss the cuddling and pampering that comes post making out, but on the brighter side, there isn’t a dark emotional void that lives inside me anymore. I wake up with a bright smile and end the day on a pleasurable note.
Sure, masturbation is addictive, but so is love, no? And pleasing yourself is one of the healthiest routes to self-love. I may not come home to a man (yet) who’ll smother me with hugs and kisses, but I do come home to a pretty pink vibrator. In my opinion, that’s equally satisfying. *wink*
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