This story was updated in January 2019.
Is it only human to stray and falter? Can humans never truly be monogamous? With the onslaught of social media, mobile dating apps and the internet - people have more options than ever to seek out new people even if they are in a committed relationship. Maybe he’s coming home smelling differently, he’s started to work late in the office a little too often or he leaves the room to attend the phone call. If you dig a little deeper, you’ll find out plenty of evidence to prove that all the folders that are password protected have exactly what you’re hoping they wouldn’t. Or maybe you’re wrong and being suspicious for completely nothing. If you’ve been feeling like your partner is cheating on you, here are some things people do when they are cheating on their partners - so you know for sure!
If someone is cheating on their partner, they tend to make excuses about their whereabouts. Morning, noon or night they are always busy in a meeting, or a work trip or a dinner at their boss’ place. The reality is, unfortunately, far more twisted than you think. They turn down plans with you or make it look like they’re extremely busy. They try avoiding any kind of confrontation because they don’t want to get caught.
The fear of not hiding one’s tracks is always on the mind of a person cheating on their partner. Hence they are always kind of overcompensating when asked questions or taking extra precautions so that their secret remains one. They tend to get defensive and explain more than required just to avoid being pointed a finger at.
Cheating on your partner can weigh down on someone’s consciousness. Hence they periodically zone out, possibly trying to anticipate the eventual consequences of their behaviour, or worse still, coming up with more excuses to meet the other person.
A person cheating is likely to put a password on their phone and even more passwords on their messaging apps. And even after that, they’ll never let their phones be out of sight lest they are exposed. They start taking their phone with themselves when they go to the restroom too. They don’t want to give you a chance to check their phone.
There is an enormous pressure to pretend as if everything is going the way it should. So they try really hard to be nonchalant and behave like everything is hunky-dory in their lives. However, that extra effort shows and is often fake. They will sometimes pamper you too much, much more than they usually do so that you never doubt on them.
It can’t get more obvious than this one. If your partner is still on a dating app, it definitely means that they want to keep their options open.
Of course, everyone needs their ‘me’ time, but if your partner is continually harping for privacy to the point of being defensive - there could be another, more potent reason for this behaviour. Maybe they’re just lying to you. They’re telling you that they want space but actually are spending time with someone else.
They are unsure if they can make it to the weekend date you had planned in advance, and stress that they can’t imagine spending their life with only one person. Sometimes, it is okay to have a doubt or not be ready to commit but if your partner is always saying these things, they might just have other plans in mind.
When a person is intimately involved with someone other than their partner, sex becomes less important to sustain in the relationship. It is almost as if they are just not interested anymore. Nothing about you turns them on anymore, they’ve stopped getting excited about trying new things in bed and they don’t notice your matching lingerie. If all this is true, your partner may be being unfaithful.
Is your partner dressing differently almost overnight? Their taste in movies, music and books has changed so quickly that it is almost like they are a different person or are influenced by another person who is not you. That’s a sign of a cheating partner right there.
A cheating partner can often use different means to steer clear of the spotlight. They might accuse you of infidelity to cover up. They’d make you want to retrospect and put you in a position of self-doubt. They’d try to shift focus and convince you that you’re the problem in the relationship. This is an attempt to make you feel like they value the relationship more and that they would never stray.
They have suddenly started questioning you about all the male friends you hang out with. They act like they’re jealous and your actions are making them uncomfortable. They interrogate you and act like everything you’re doing is affecting the relationship. They make it look like you’re toxic and disinterested only to cover up for their faults.
It’s always good to give each other space in a relationship. But if your partner has suddenly started hiding their phone from you or refuses to give you their laptop, suspicion is bound to arise. A cheating partner needs a lot of privacy to be able to secretly pull off an affair with another person. There is nothing suspicious about a partner wanting to keep their text messages private or wanting a little space, but a sudden new emphasis on privacy could signal a straying spouse.
Most times a partner doesn’t get to know that their significant other is cheating on them because of the picture they paint about a perfect relationship. There are no fights, no disagreements and no insecurities. The real reason why the relationship looks so perfect is that your partner is resorting to adultery and doesn’t care about your equation with him anymore. He’s indifferent to your needs and worries. His heart doesn’t belong to you entirely anymore so he’s not in this relationship emotionally. So, If you suddenly feel like you are living in a fairy tale, it might be time to ask some questions.
It is okay for them to be stressed if they have an important meeting coming up. It is fine they want some distance to work on it. But if the distance still stays post the tedious schedule is over, you might want to intervene. If you see your partner trying to distance themselves from you without reason, possibly he’s not that into you anymore.
A cheating partner may struggle to keep track of all the things they’ve told you and that is because you’re not their first priority anymore. They might repeat things or sometimes may even forget to mention things at all. He may repeatedly ask you questions like, “Did I tell you this already?” or even something like, “Are you the one I told this to?” An unfaithful partner may also confirm about all the stories they’ve shared with you to remind themselves of the lies they’ve already told you.
When someone is breaking a vow or betraying you, they’re guilty conscious. This makes them feel that there’s a need for them to keep making it up to you. They shower you with gifts or compliment you more than usual to distract you from thinking that there could be something wrong with your relationship. He might also start giving you compliments that you didn’t see coming. He might tell you that you look fabulous in that red dress when he’s previously remarked that you looked like a tomato in it. Pampering your partner with gifts is not wrong, but if he’s doing it and saying “just because,” there could be a possibility of them being an infidel.
It is a great thing to get a new haircut or start dressing a certain way as and when you wish to. There’s nothing suspicious about a partner who decides to change their lifestyle. However, if you’ve been constantly behind them to exercise but they always dismiss it and one day suddenly start overdoing it, you could have reasons to worry. Maybe there’s someone he’s trying to impress or win over.
Every couple has some cutesy rituals that they follow or some relationship rules they abide by. If your partner starts forgetting those or tries to breach, it sure is a sign of him cheating on you. Why else would he try to alter some things that the two of you have been doing together for years?!
Everyone is different. We’re bound to have differences. But being with someone despite knowing their shortcomings and how different they are from you is what makes a relationship work. Having healthy arguments is common and not problematic at all. But if you notice tiffs with your partner on petty things that the two of you used to let go of earlier, then something is not right.
There are times you feel like you’re the only one trying to make it work or you’re the only one putting in the effort but things aren’t working the way you expect them to. Seeing your partner sit there and relax while you handle everything is not a good sign. Sometimes, no matter what or how much you do, it doesn’t always work out. You can do nothing to keep them with you if they’re gone.
You know all his friends, and you know for a fact that guy friends don’t chat all day. You notice him turn his phone upside down every time there’s a notification. You can see an unknown number on his phone but he doesn’t talk about it. He’s texting all day but not replying to your texts or is just sending you one-word replies, then, his attention is clearly divided. He’s enjoying the chase and trying to impress another woman.
His phone is always busy when you call him up. He keeps disconnecting your call or sometimes forgets to call back. On being asked who was he talking you, he just says, “friends.” Also, there are times his phone is busy at odd hours when he’s told you that he’s tired and going off to sleep. These are signs of him possibly straying.
If someone is trying to hide something or they’re guilty, they’ll always be stressed as they don’t want to get caught. They’ll get worried easily and panic when you least expect them to. Haven’t you heard, once bitten, twice shy? And if you know them well enough, you will know that they are constantly in a battle with themselves.
Always go with your gut. If you feel that there’s something odd about the way your partner is behaving or you just feel like there’s a third person who has intervened in your relationship, chances are that you’re right. Know that your gut never lies.
Many of the signs that your partner is straying are discreet and easily overlooked, but those little oddities can add up and indicate you have a big problem. Confusion over an unexpected increase in compliments is far easier for him to explain away than a sudden business trip. Pay heed to these signs before it’s a little too late.
AWESOME NEWS! POPxo SHOP is now Open! Get 25% off on all the super fun mugs, phone covers, cushions, laptop sleeves, and more! Use coupon code POPXOFIRST. Online shopping for women never looked better!