I’ve lived most of my life being a tomboy until the day I discovered make up! I have never looked back since. I OD on every new product in the market. I am a compulsive hoarder. As a self-proclaimed slave to the beauty industry, I donate 101% of my earnings to it. It’s a disease only cured with poverty – a perpetual condition I find myself in every month end! I spend most parts of my day being tuned in to YouTube, watching my favorite bloggers rave about some *new* magical product – that I hope will change my life. I am always updated about the what’s new and what’s hot in the space. I have even converted numerous no-make up girls into make up lovers.
After that introduction; one would think I’d have every bridal makeup look planned right? WRONG! You couldn’t be more wrong. I spent most of my ‘wedding planning’ time obsessing on the little things; not realizing I’m missing out on a world of stuff that actually mattered. I put more effort into picking my stage backdrop than I did in a wedding makeup artist! I picked an artist without checking out her portfolio. She was the easy choice – She did my best friends wedding! While the bestie never wore makeup her whole life, she looked like a glowing goddess on her D-day. This was testament to the make up artist right? WRONG!
Please, please, please look at the bridal portfolio before you make a decision. It is very important to know that your make up artist understands your style. I opted out of a makeup trial because the make up artist was quite far from my house.
This is my unbridled rant on the nightmare that was my wedding makeup.
I wanted my outfit to be the star of the show so I asked for a minimal makeup look with a sultry smokey eye. Since this was going to be a night with a lot of drinking and dancing, I asked her for a long lasting base. I was pretty content with way my makeup turned out for this function. Little did I know that disaster would soon strike.
My make up artist arrives an hour late, with hideous hair accessories from the 90’s and insists on giving me a hair do I absolutely detest. Not one to get into confrontations, I silently let her do what she wanted. This was the day I noticed the products she was using were those a local parlor would use. For the quality of products I use in my own kit and the exorbitant amount I paid her for each function, I expected brands like Chanel and Bobbi Brown or atleast MAC.
I asked her to apply falsies, because which bride doesn’t want close up’s with long luscious black lashes? She didn’t have any! She insisted her mascara was lengthening enough. Okay then, moving on, I decided to pick a lipstick from my own collection. Luckily, my gown overshadowed the substandard make up.
My skin was reacting to the makeup, I could feel a zit forming! I asked her to give me contoured cheekbones for the wedding, since my hair would be tied up and I didn’t want that double chin to peek through. After all, who doesn’t want cheekbones like Kim Kardashian! I don’t think the artist knew what contouring even was! My grief was far from over - she topped off a perfect eye look with some terrible golden winged-liner that made my eyes look smaller and darker. My skin overall looked dull, dry and lacked the perfect strobe and contour I’d dreamed of. I was pissed off, on a day that should have been PERFECT.
After the wedding; it was time to get ready for the Reception.
Expecting to have a whole new look, I walk into my hotel room to notice a HUGE zit on my cheek. Much to my amazement, she wouldn’t let me take my makeup off – she applied more layers over my existing cake-face. By this time, I was done being pissed off, I was just happy to know I’d never have to see her again and the wedding mania was officially over. I was mentally already in the Maldives sipping my long-island iced tea.
Here are some Do’s and Don’ts I definitely learned from disastrous bridal makeup experience: