Chetan and I started out by becoming friends on Facebook. And it was long after we became social media friends, that he sent me some casual messages to start a conversation. As we got chatting, I got to know that he was doing engineering and was at a college close by to mine. I was doing a diploma course at the time.
Although I wasn't interested in meeting him or having any sort of contact with him apart from messages once in a while, he seemed to be keen on taking this a step ahead. He started calling me often and mentioned a couple of times that he was interested in meeting me. I used to make up some excuse every time and get out of it.
One day, I was attending a college event and was generally feeling slightly low. I happened to tell him that over Whatsapp, and he offered to drop by and meet me. I wasn’t really up for it but since he was being so concerned, I gave in and agreed to meet up. He also brought me some chocolates, which I thought was very sweet of him. We both chatted up and ate the chocolates he had got.
I have to admit here that I was quite taken in by his good looks. Light eyes, a perfect jawline, and a super sweet smile – he had looks to die for! I also liked the way he spoke. In fact, we chatted for hours and didn’t realize where all that time flew!
After this, we both started meeting regularly. We’d go for drives, chat up and basically spent a lot of time together. During one such meet-up, we both were standing in front of each other and all of a sudden, he grabbed me and we kissed. He pulled back almost instantly and apologized. I responded to him with a smile and said I didn’t mind this impulsive act at all. After this, we shared a long, passionate kiss.
He finally asked me out, and we were in a relationship. Gradually, as we spent more and more time together, I began to realize that it was always me who did all the talking. He would listen patiently, but never really shared the kind of details that I used to share with him about my life. Whenever I spoke about the future with him, he didn’t respond in a way I’d hope he would.
Once, it had been a long time since we’d met because he’d been busy, I insisted that we meet me at my neighbour’s flat. We had their house keys as they used to be out of town very often. The risk was that my house was next door, but we decided to go ahead with this plan anyway. When we were there, I was cuddling with him when we heard a knock at the door. It was my mom! We tried to hide, but she eventually caught us and was extremely upset to see what she did. She was upset with me for days after this and questioned my relationship with Chetan.
After this incident, Chetan sort of backed off and told me that he needed to get out of this relationship because if his father found out what he was up to, he’d be ‘kicked out of the house.’ He then convinced me to keep this a secret and give him time to till he finds a job. Just after this conversation, he stopped all types of communication with me. When I called him after a week of this, he spoke as if nothing had happened. When I asked him where he had vanished, he told me that he’d been busy.
Over the course of the conversation, we started talking about marriage. Just as this topic started, he said to me, ‘I don't have plans to marry you. I have never thought of it this way. My dad is very conservative, and he will not support anything like this.’ I tried to convince him to give it time and some more effort. But he had a negative answer to all that I had to say.
Finally, he said, ‘Look Aashna, I have never felt any emotional attachment towards you, and still don’t feel anything like that. We can meet and be friends, but we have no future.’ My world came crashing down when I heard him say that he felt nothing for me. I felt like he had no regard for my feelings and how attached I was to him. I am still figuring out a way to come out of this. We’ve hardly spoken to each other after this conversation. I will learn to cope with this and move on in life soon, I’m sure.
*Names changed to protect privacy.
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