You know that one person who is constantly on your mind, even when you know that you may not want to date him or be with him in a relationship but he’s still with you and makes you feel like the happiest girl on this planet and giving you great memories to cherish. It’s probably because somethings are just meant to be felt and not said.
He’d joined my team about two months back and that’s how we met. Initially, we had the regular catch-ups about work, life and so on! Call it fate or coincidence we happened to exchange numbers the very first day and from chatting over texts to gradually talking on the phone every day, we became close really quickly!
It was just a week since we knew each other, but since we’d gotten pretty close, we agreed to catch up at his place over the weekend. As filmy as it sounds, it was late in the night when I reached his place. I thought it would be awkward and feel weird but it did not. He made me feel really comfortable and offered me his shorts to change and feel at home. We were chit chatting, chugging down drink after drink, eating a hearty meal and just relaxing.
While we were next to each other pretending to be cool and like nothing was happening, we knew what was actually happening. At least I did, but I refused to acknowledge it. Before I could get my conscience to play, what had to happen already did. We were too close to withdrawing and we ended up kissing each other. It was something beautiful and I felt special after a very long time. And since it wasn’t awkward, we went all the way and had sex as well.
And just from the next day, we started behaving like a couple even when we hadn’t spoken about what happened the night before. We felt like we were in a relationship, without having tried. But having said that, he was clear from the beginning about his terms of not wanting to be in a’ relationship’ as he wanted to focus on his career.
But even though he was clear about his stance, days passed and we only got closer to each other. We often hung out for a coffee, went for evening walks around work, went shopping together, discussed our aspirations and life goals, personal issues and so much more. We gained each other's trust and that eventually strengthened our bond.
I know that some relationships don’t require a name to it. They don’t need a tag and don’t have to be labeled as something because specific because you value the person for how they are with you.
But soon I realized that I had started liking and caring for him genuinely. My affection towards him had reached another level and I was absolutely unapologetic to admit it. He is that one tiny weakness I have in my life and I think this is what love feels like. It can’t be defined but it can be felt.
I am scared of letting it out to him directly though, but I have given him many many hints and told him indirectly as well. I don't want to ruin the relationship we share now… but I don't know how far this will go. I don’t even know if this will lead to something but right now, all I can say is that being with him makes me really happy. I don’t want to know if this is right or wrong and I am happy the way it is, till it lasts. He did not label our relationship but for now, it is great the way it is and what happens next is destiny.
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