You know that one person who is constantly on your mind, even when you know that someone is imperfect but still feels like he’s perfect for you. You may not want to date him or be with him in a relationship but he’s still with you. It’s probably because he’s the first love of your life and as it’s rightly said, ‘you never forget your first love.’
It might come to you as a surprise, and it might be a groundbreaking news too, but I am sure we all have that one person who we can’t get out of our mind. (Are you secretly thinking of him right now?) This one who got away exists in my life too and I am definitely no different!
It was back in 2010 and I wasn’t as mature (well, so wasn’t he). It was a beautiful relationship and needless to say it lasted for a really long time. But not everything in the world goes as per your plan and unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to last. As I saw my little fairytale dwindle, I told myself that this is not the end and I will get over it like every other person does.
Little did I know that for the longest time, we kept getting back to each other like magnets. Call it fate or just a coincidence, we kept bumping into each other and well, we kept getting back with each other, even after the breakup. As filmy as it sounds, we actually had perfect things backing us up, every time! But for how long? Our friends thought that we belonged together and will eventually get back but destiny had other plans, you see!
Even though he is a happily man married today, I still let my guards down in front of him. One phone call is what it takes for my stomach to drop. But I’m absolutely unapologetic to admit that it is that one tiny weakness I have in my life.
Why? I ask myself very often. It’s not like I have not fallen in love after that, it’s not like I have not been happy without him. I guess it’s the thought of being with him for such a long time that has kept him at the back of my mind, always. I will still remember the tiny details about him, I will always know what it felt like to be in his arms. Let’s just say that he is the Mr. Big to my Carrie and in our story, there isn’t any getting back after the million breakups!
So, here is my message to all you girls out there. You might have that one person in your thoughts for a long time. You might even have it forever but know that it’s okay, as long as it’s healthy. It’s okay if you no longer want his possession and he is just a happy memory. You’re happy for him and he is happy for you. He will be there in your thoughts and you’ll always cherish what you had.
As for me, I never stopped loving him. His phone call still brightens my day and his concern will always make me the happiest but I also know that even though time has moved us apart, we will still be dancing on ‘Daniel Bedingfield’ songs somewhere in the open fields which are beyond the ideas of right and wrong!
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