Having arguments in a relationship is quite normal… In fact, it’s healthy. It means you have open channels of communication and there is (almost) no scope of repressed feelings or bottled rage. But, the catch here is, these fights and arguments should occur in moderation. When you are having way too many fights in a relationship, then you may want to dig a little deeper.
1. Have ‘the conversation’
Catch the bull by its horns. It may not be the most pleasant conversation to have with him but do it. Let him know what you feel and also be prepared to listen to what he has to say. One of you has to take the initiative by putting it all out on the table and it is never a bad idea to do so yourself.
2. Try to trace it back to a repressed feeling either one of you may have
Sometimes, it’s the little things that cause the greatest storms. Is it something that either of you did or said that has stuck in the other’s memory and is now causing all this turmoil? Is it something that one of you has never talked about but really wants to? Talk it out, think about it… Your fights may not be as huge as they seem, after all.
3. A little time-out may help
Take a little breather. No, we don’t mean a temporary break up or anything. Just take some time away from each other. Spend more time with your friends or family or devote all your hours to a hobby. A time-out will clear your head and will give you both some clarity on what you guys are really feeling.
4. Talk to a trusted friend
Sometimes, it’s not possible to handle everything all by yourself. So seek help. Talk to someone who is mature and level headed and who you can trust. A third person’s perspective may, to some extent, help you see the whole situation in a new light.
5. Make an effort to end the argument.
Even when that voice inside your head tells you to keep going because you feel you’re right… Stop. Consciously end an argument when you feel it’s getting blown out of proportion and does not even have a legit reason. It doesn’t make you smaller or wrong… It just makes you wiser.
6. Small gestures of love will go a long way.
Even if you are not the kind of person who likes doing cheesy, mushy things for her partner, do some of them. A little bit of romance and extra love may put you both at ease. You will then be able to have better and saner conversations about what exactly is going wrong.
7. Break the monotony
Sometimes, it’s just frustration… Of being in the same place, doing the same thing day in and day out. Being the closest people to one another, you guys may just be venting to each other which eventually turns into a fight. Break that routine and do something a little crazy. Go out for Karaoke, try something new in the bedroom, go out on an impromptu long drive… It will help you clear your head.
8. Go away together!
Travelling does things to you that nothing else can… Good things! After you’ve taken some time out, it is a good idea to take a small vacay together, even if it’s just for a day.
9. Have a gag rule!
Stipulate a duration for which you will just not talk about this whole fiasco. During this time, you can stay in and binge watch shows or go out and party… But you cannot talk about your issues during this time. It’ll remind you of exactly what you’re fighting for.
10. In or out?
If nothing seems to work then you will probably have to go to number 1 again… Have ‘the conversation’ again. Is there no solution in sight? Do you both want to stay in the relationship or do you want out? It is better to do this the sensible way than to ambush each other.
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