MyStory I Loved Him But We Could Not Be Together | POPxo

#MyStory: I Loved Him But I Refused To Be With Him…

Anonymous

Guest Contributor

Coping up with a breakup can be a daunting task. You may lose hope in love because of all the pain and the heartbreak. I was in that situation too and I channelled all my energy towards my studies. I didn’t think I could fall in love again but that didn't last long. During my third year of university I was interning with a bank where I worked in the customer care department. One one of the busy days I saw a young man. He was probably in his early twenties and he couldn't take his hands off the phone.  He was busy texting and the loud noise from the buttons of his old phone was really distracting me.


When it was his turn at my counter, I told him to move on to the next counter because I did not have answers to all of his queries. ‘You mean you don't know' he said. 'This guy is very rude' I thought to myself as I tried to mask my displeasure. 'I am an intern here and am still learning' I responded. Suddenly his attitude changed and we had a short conversation. He told me his name and where he was studying. In fact, Karthik invited me to attend a party at his place that weekend but I told him that I wasn't available. Before he left we exchanged numbers.


On my way home that evening, I coincidentally met him again and he again insisted that I come to his party. We started texting that same night. To be honest, I didn't like him and I even ignored his calls and messages. After two weeks I went back to college and found out that he also studied in the same city. He asked me to visit him but I didn't, until, one weekend he paid me a surprise visit.


Internal we could not be together, MyStory I Loved Him But We Could Not Be Together | POPxo, we could not be together


We had a lot of fun together. That night my roommate wasn't around, it was just him and me. We talked for while and then starting watching a movie. While the movie was playing he held my hand and moved closer to me. I rested my head on his chest and in that moment I felt my heart skip a beat. Though I was beginning to feel something, I didn't let it control me. Nothing happened as we slept in different beds. The next day we attended a function together and I really enjoyed his company. In the afternoon we snuggled in the bed together while listening to some serene music. That's when I actually felt in love with him. I had never felt something so strong, not even in my last relationship.


I couldn't hide what I was feeling as we stared and smiled at each other. I made a move and kissed him. I was happy he kissed me back and later that night he asked me to be his girlfriend. I really wanted to say yes but I told him that I wasn't ready to be in a relationship. The next day he left without saying goodbye and I was hurt. He apologized to me later and we continued being in touch with one another and went for a date after a month.


I really wanted to kiss Kartik but that never happened. He asked me to be his girlfriend yet again but my answer was the same. I really loved him with all my heart but something inside me was telling me that he was out of my league and he wasn't going to be faithful. I tried to avoid him but he was always on my mind. I deleted his number but he still continued to message and call me.


After a month he started seeing someone else but they broke up after a short time. I didn’t meet him for a year until the day he attended my graduation. When I saw him my heart skipped a beat yet again. The love I had for him hadn’t changed. We went out together and he still wanted me to reconsider his request but I told him that we could not be together. As I said goodbye to him I really wanted to kiss him and tell him how much I loved him but I couldn't.


It's been almost a year now since we last talked or met each other and I still love him so much. I am fine loving him without being with his girlfriend.


Images: Shutterstock

Published on May 18, 2017
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