This happened when I went to Bangalore for a friend’s wedding. One evening, my friend and I got left the venue for a bit before the function to chill with a few friends at a nearby bar. That’s where I met the resident musicians of the bar who were very attractive. As we started talking, the guy I liked more, Ravi, gradually left the bar and I was left with the other guy who, by now had started flirting with me. I flirted back since I was single and thought there was no harm in having some fun! But once we were out of the bar, we couldn’t really get along and the night ended rather soon.
Three months later, I returned to Bangalore for an exam and I remembered Ravi. So, I went out to the same bar with my friends, all over again. And this time, I wanted to ask him out. After a few drinks, as I had chickened out on the idea, my friend asked him out for me. We went for another party and as we came out it was drizzling, setting the perfect mood for a kiss. I ended up staying back in his room as it was too late and our homes were far. We made love that night. I didn’t know if he was serious, but I really liked him. Soon after, we started going out and it had been about four months. I proposed to him and he was the love of my life!
And then after a few days, I got to know that he had a girlfriend. He said it was a lie and that girl was his ex and they had been together for just a month and it meant nothing. I fought but later I accepted what he said. I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
Ravi wanted to be an entrepreneur and I saw it as a good opportunity for us to settle down together. I told him that I would invest in his business, only coz’ I didn’t know how hard it was to start one. My family didn’t know about our relationship and couldn’t trust me with the money as they didn’t know him and didn’t believe him. Because of this, I couldn’t keep my word.
He told me that was the reason he couldn’t trust me or say I love you to me. Five months passed, we got a place but nothing was working out. We thought of taking a break and he left for his hometown for a month. Once he was back, we started the process of setting up the place again but I couldn’t arrange the money soon. He had quit his job and my family was pressurizing me to stop being with him. Amidst all of this, he left me a lot of times because of his family pressure, his sister’s marriage coming closer and other demands from home. But I never called it quits. While all of this was happening, my aunt suffered a heart attack and passed away when I was home alone with her.
Since I couldn’t deal with all the drama, we decided to take a break. But this is when he decided to end it. I couldn’t let him go, so I thought giving him the money to start the business might make him trust me. And it did, things got better but I would slip into pangs of depression due to the loss of my aunt. I wasn’t able to deal with it all that well and he just wouldn’t support me.
We started fighting about small things but we always got back together. But one day, I woke up to his texts that said, ‘I hate this feeling, the night we started seeing each other was not great, and I have had better experiences. I can’t handle it, I can’t forget that you’ve gone out with other people, and you’re too moody now.’ The text continued, ‘I regret that I said yes to you and ever met you.’ I tried calling him, he never responded. I texted him asking him why was he feeling all that suddenly. To which, he replied, ‘It was ordinary with you, please leave me alone’. So he left me because he just couldn’t see me at my worst. I wasn’t sure if that’s how relationships were supposed to be.
I called him and sent him multiple texts and cried for days on end. I felt bad and thought to myself, had I handled my depression better, he would have probably not have left me. I don’t know how to feel or react when the one you love so much leaves you simply because he couldn’t handle you at your low point.
*Names changed to protect privacy
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