As much as we’d all like to win ‘Girlfriend of the Year’ awards, there are times we don’t really deserve to. Let’s be real ladies, for we can be awfully critical and judgy towards the men in our lives – sometimes for no good reason. Today, let’s vow to break these habits that will eventually gnaw into the sanctity of our relationships. Yup, we are clearly highlighting the things you should definitely NOT judge your boyfriend for! You’ll thank us for this someday.
1. Don’t judge him for being ‘too sensitive’.
You’ll be surprised at the dearth of sensitive men out there in the world. If you feel that he acts a certain way, driven more out of emotion than logic, then have a candid chat with him. But don’t be rude or dismissive because you can’t handle his sensitive side. That’s just not fair.
2. Don’t judge him for being obsessive about his career goals.
These are his years to make it. For that matter, these are also your years to make it! If you find him being manically obsessed with achieving his career goals, don’t chide him for it. Instead take a leaf out of his book and get inspired by his hustle!
3. Don’t judge him for his closeness with his family.
Not all boys are aloof and detached. If you’ve found one who loves and respects his family, learn to respect that quality of his. In the long run, you’ll want this in a man. Trust us!
4. Don’t judge him for his dressing sense.
Okay, so maybe he needs a little help in the sartorial department. Not everyone has a natural knack for it. But this is where you come in, right? Play the girlfriend role to the T and help him shop next time round. Maybe you are just the stylist he needed.
5. Don’t judge him for his past.
A good blanket rule to follow in life is that what happens in the past belongs there. Don’t unearth things unnecessarily. You weren’t there and you probably don’t know everything that happened. So trust him in the present, and don’t obsess over his past. Besides, we *all* have some skeletons in our closet, right?
6. Don’t judge ALL his friendships.
Many girlfriends fall into this trap. The one where you judge the boy based on his many friends. While we can’t disagree that this is kind of a natural thing to do, we also urge you to look at the bigger picture. If you are dating someone nice who makes you feel safe, secure, valued, and loved then that’s the only thing that should matter. Judging the friends he used to hang with in junior college, or judging his colony friends is going to get you nowhere. You know as well as we do that they don’t determine who he is as a person NOW.
7. Don’t judge him for some of his non-committal answers...
Not all guys know early in life what they want to do, where they want to live, or who they want to marry and at what age. We girls tend to have a need to know these things at the early stages of our relationships. If he’s not able to give you concrete answers, it may be because he’s still figuring out a lot of things in life. We feel it’s better he’s honest in telling you that he doesn’t know rather than spinning a web of lies just to momentarily pacify your curiosity.
8. Don’t judge him for the lack of big gestures.
Romance means different things to different people. You can’t be getting upset at the fact that he didn’t show up at your college/ work place with a bouquet of red roses. Yes, some guys may be able to pull that off, but if he isn’t one of them, don’t sweat it. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. It just means he may not be into the whole ostentatious bit!
9. Don’t judge him by his social media habits.
It’s honestly really okay if bae didn’t Snapchat you today. It’s not the end of the world. Really! TRUST US.
10. Don’t judge him for his lack of shared interests.
You can’t have made it this far in life and never heard the phrase, ‘Opposites Attract’. So why stress out then? It’s really okay to be dating someone whose habits are the polar opposites of yours. As long as you two have the same core values, nothing else really matters. Not even the fact that he would much rather play FIFA than watch the latest Bollywood movie with you!
11. Don’t judge him for wanting to take things slow.
It is a ridiculous myth perpetuated by society that boys want to jump into relationships, or they want to get into bed with you as quickly as possible, or they won’t wait if you want to go slow. This is really sad because somewhere we girls have internalized these false notions. Let us be your myth-busters today! Guys are allowed to tread with caution too. Sometimes they only want to take further steps in a relationship if they are sure of the shared connection. It’s okay if he’s taking things slow. Don’t judge him just because he’s (good) different! He’s a gem for not wanting to break your heart, even by mistake. Trust the energy he gives out, and don’t worry about ‘timelines’ – they mean nothing when you find the one you are supposed to be with.
Published on Apr 25, 2017