An Open Letter To The Men Looking To Marry A ‘Good Indian Girl’
To all the people who have told me that I am not the ‘good Indian girl’,
It’s time for me to put into words what I have wanted to say all along, but didn’t, perhaps just to avoid having this conversation.
When I was a little girl, my mother always taught me to grow up and set an example for all the young girls out there. My family never wanted me to succumb to the societal pressure and they always let me do the things that made me happy. And out of all the things I ever wanted to do, growing up to be, a ‘perfect Indian girl’ was never really one of them. And why should it be, it is actually not one of the criterias to sustain in life...or is it?
No, I don’t have a problem with Indian traditions or norms. I have a problem with the flawed definition of the term ‘good Indian girl’. I have a problem with the fact that the norms that you make up in the name of culture and tradition only apply to women. Hold that thought while I explain to you why I am indignant about this whole issue.
Why is it okay for guys to party with and date girls who are easy, outgoing but not get married to one? What is the logical reason behind the belief that, a girl with tattoos or piercings or the one who loves to party will not make a good life partner or is not a decent girl, in general? What is so outrageous about it? I am a girl with multiple piercings (a belly piercing at that one), two tattoos and I love to go out with my friends on weekends. I drink and I hang out with boys. How does that make me any less of a woman or a ‘bad girl’ as you like to call it?
I am a strong, independent woman and a firm believer in love. When I envision my future, I see myself having a job that I have always dreamt of, being surrounded by people I love and happily married to a man who does not believe in the concept of marrying the ‘good Indian girl’. I want a companion who will love and respect for me for who I am. Wanting to split the household chores with my husband does not make me a bad woman. Expecting him to fix a meal now and then does not make me a bad wife. Asking him to lend me a hand in cleaning the house does not make me any less capable.
So, here I am, absolutely unapologetically and unabashedly accepting my strengths and weaknesses and telling you that I have the courage to live with my choices, whether or not you may agree with them. Stop judging me, or don’t, but if you do not agree with the way I choose to live my life, you are free to walk away.
You no longer hold the power to make me doubt myself or make me feel bad about myself just because you do not agree with me. I hope my message is clear. And while you’re at it, here, hold my drink because I have some serious goals to achieve and some amazing relationships to establish.