What is love? It's the most difficult term to explain or understand! Love is a chord that unites two souls into one and ties them together! True love is one which stays with you to see you through the ups and downs in life!
I never wanted to settle down with anyone and was sure that I would lead an independent life. Because of all these thoughts I never got into any relationship barring one... With the guy I had a crush on for the longest time!
I just use to run away from meeting guys and the idea of being with someone gave me nightmares. But then Rahul came into my life! We re-connected over social media and I felt a strong connection with him. A sense of deep attachment, one I’d never felt. This feeling happened for the first time and I could imagine myself settling, having a husband, a home, having kids and growing old with him.
He was in the performing arts industry in Mumbai and I was working in Delhi. We had to meet and he suggested he’d come see me in Delhi. We both made so many plans to spend time with each other and we were so excited! This was going to be our first date and we had to make the most of it.
We met the day he reached Delhi. I had butterflies in my stomach as I was seeing him for the first time. I couldn't wait to hug him tightly and imagined how wonderful it would be to have him with me. However, things didn't go as expected. All was well between us till he showed some keenness to become physically intimate with me and I wasn’t up for the same. This eventually lead to some unpleasantness between the two of us. I even apologized to him because I knew that for me, the relationship was important; he was important.
We did get intimate but didn’t end up having sex. I really cherished the time I spent with him, but he just seemed off. He probably wanted to go all the way, but since I wasn’t ready, it didn’t happen. From that day, he stopped speaking to me properly. Earlier we used to talk the entire day and night, but this had significantly reduced too. This lead to miscommunications and ended up in a fight. Later, he blamed me for ruining the day we met and he also said he was annoyed that I posted a photo with one of my male friends on social media. He didn’t trust me and stopped calling me altogether.
He was still in Delhi but never made the effort to call me up. I called him a lot of times but every time it was a different story. Sometimes, he never picked up and other times he’d just disconnect my call. I sent him a couple of messages too, telling him how this was sheer miscommunication and we could make our relationship better.
A few days later, when I called him again, he just picked up my call and told me to never contact him again. I was heartbroken and thought that love, those promises to marry me and spend the rest of our lives together meant nothing. How could he stop loving me? What did I do? I couldn’t comprehend, we broke up after the first date, for real!
I just made one last attempt. And when he told me that he was over me and he didn’t want to get back with me, I closed the chapter once and for all.
Other than being heartbroken, I had too many questions but no answers apart from the fact that he brought back the alone, independent woman I used to be. It made me think why I got into all that in the first place. Just because I was madly in love with someone? Love is a wonderful feeling if you have the right person by your side and if destiny is in your favour. If not, this is the only thing which leaves you lonely, empty and heartbroken!
* Names changed to protect privacy
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Published on Apr 05, 2017