Since childhood, I was always insecure about the way I looked. I’d always felt inferior about myself and this feeling only multiplied as I grew older. I went to an all-girls school, which further had a negative impact on my personality and how I perceived myself. Finally, when I came to the university, things became a little better. I shared a room with someone and she was my only friend in college. She was sweet and we got along well! I was relieved that I had someone by my side. Even though I didn’t really have a lot of friends around, it was enough.
My roommate was cute and good looking and I felt that I was ugly. Everybody spoke to her and befriended her and I was third-wheeling her everywhere I went! In the first year, she became friends with a guy who was really sorta full of attitude. My roommate introduced me to him and he spoke to me in a very friendly manner.
After a while, he started flirting with me and I was confused because my roomie used to talk to him a lot. I thought they were in a relationship but neither of them accepted that. Whenever she wasn’t around, he’d flirt with me, say ‘sweet nothings’ to me and tell me how much he liked me. I was really happy and felt a great sense of joy when I was getting attention from him. After a while, he wanted to be in a relationship with me. And being innocent, I believed him. He wanted me to keep this a secret and I agreed to that too. He would barely hang out with me but whenever we did, my roommate was always with us.
It hurt me that he wanted to keep this a secret but I couldn’t tell him that I wasn’t okay with this. It just kept going on. The relationship after a point got too toxic for me to handle. I could neither talk to my roommate nor see eye to eye with my boyfriend. That’s when one day, my roommate told me that the entire college knew that she was in a relationship with him and I was foolish to make any advances at him. I was numb because I was not cheated on, but I was the girl he cheated on his girlfriend with. I stopped talking to him, but continued talking to my friend because of the guilt of having unknowingly hurt her.
I was heartbroken and when my roommate eventually found out what had been going on, my friendship with her ended as well. This pushed me into depression and I really couldn’t cope with life. That’s when I sought refuge in a stranger. I told a school friend that I wanted to talk to a guy, any guy who would understand my plight and may be, listen to me without judging me.
She gave me a guy friend’s number who she thought was sensible. But not everything was hunky dory when I texted him. He didn’t talk right away. He scolded me for texting an unknown person randomly. He told me that I don’t deserve to talk to him. That made me angry, I was a weakling till then, not showing my anger to anyone and accepting everything from everyone but not this time.
I talked to him rudely and told him to go to hell and said goodbye. Somehow, something about me must have felt right to him and he texted me at 2 am and suggested we start over. And we did. I told him everything that had been happening. From how conscious I’d felt about my body, my parents not trusting me, the boyfriend who used me to cheat on my roommate and my depression. I told him and he listened to me. I just wanted to vent, so I thought I’d just type out everything I want to and block him.
But when he actually heard me out, I didn’t have the heart to do so. Slowly, we became friends, he told me about himself and how his life had been and more. He asked me to send him a picture of myself and I sent him the ugliest one. Despite that, he told me that he found me cute. Slowly, we started trusting each other and after a year decided to meet. And everything just seemed to fit in.
He brought back hope in me and made me stronger. When I was being a coward, he inspired me to change. He made me realize that I didn’t have to take any crap from anyone. With the strength he gave me, I confronted my former roommate and her boyfriend and told them to get lost on their face in college in front of everyone. I didn’t know from where was all that courage coming from. But I became more confident and I made a lot of friends. I wasn’t conscious and didn’t doubt myself anymore. I was strong, capable and I knew I could achieve anything.
I have been in a relationship with him for the past 3 years! Texting a stranger was the best thing that happened to me! I introduced him to my friends and my friends love him. Now my life is in my hands and I am loving it. I started believing that miracles do happen in our life. But recognizing the toxic people and toxic relationships and getting away from them is very important.
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Published on Apr 22, 2017