Karan and I had known each other for two years. We weren’t really dating or anything but we were truly attracted to each other. What started off with a ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement, became something much more with time. In fact, that wasn’t even important to us, anymore. We had come to understand each other well, we were aware of each other’s temperaments, habits and were comfortable with each other. But we still weren’t dating because that would just lead to mere complications and unwanted pressure on us to get married and so on.
Either way, at this point in life, Karan and I were going through a rough patch. While I was making up my mind about taking the next step ahead with him, he kept drifting away. He met someone recently and both of them were spending a lot of time with each other. I told him right from the beginning that he should stop talking to her for his own good. But he didn’t listen and kept asking me why I was telling him to do so. I have to be honest, it did bother me a lot when he went out with her or even mentioned her name. Sometimes, while he was sitting with me, she would call or message and all he would say, ‘She is just a friend’. I knew it was more than that.
Slowly, he stopped coming over and started spending more time with her, instead. One day, while I was out for dinner, I saw them walking out of another cafe and as I followed them, also ended up seeing them kiss in the parking lot. That’s when I realized that I was correct. I wish I hadn’t seen that.
I walked away and called him later and said that I saw them together. I put the phone down and told him never to call me again. It was surely painful but I knew something was up between them, the day I met her for the first time. The body language revealed everything and I think from that day onwards, I had been preparing myself for the worst.
Several days passed… He called me every day but I didn’t take his calls. I was really heart broken, more so because he kept lying to me about not having anything to do with her. He broke my trust, even as a friend.
Then one day he showed up at my place and I had to let him in, because otherwise, it would have just caused unnecessary drama. He started crying and told me that he went astray for a while. He was so wrong in letting me go and being with the other woman. I honestly, didn’t believe anything he said. I was so hurt, I just couldn’t react.
He told me how it all happened and said he became a little phobic to the commitment I was asking him for. That’s why he decided to take a step back and during that time, he met her and felt a sort of attraction. He apologized for everything and told me that he can’t let me go, it was his worst mistake to have done that, he said. I did want him back, but the big question troubling my head was ‘What if he did it again?’ But I still decided to forgive him and give it another try!
There is no guarantee in life that somebody will stay permanently, but at that moment everything he said felt real. Those emotions, those words and that desire to be with me felt strong. Since then, it took me some time to forget and forgive but I loved him so much that it happened. Slowly, but it did happen. We have been together for over two years after that incident and marriage is on the cards for us! He cheated on me only to realize how much he loved me and I think it has made our relationship stronger. Sometimes, you have to go through turmoil to realize whether it’s worth it or not. Because, love doesn’t come that easy, but when it does, you feel it.
*Names changed to protect privacy
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