There are different stages in a romantic relationship. Initially, you get to know the person - what they like, what they don’t like, their habits etc. Then comes a phase when you get comfortable with each other, you start spending time together, everything is just amazing. And what comes after that? The intimacy phase - which also tends to involve having sex. But if you are not ready for sex and he is, that’s when things tend to get a bit complicated. We found a thread on Quora where people are talking about how to tell your boyfriend you are not ready for sex - and, girls, you have to read it.
1. ‘You say, directly and firmly, “I am not ready to have sex yet.”’ - Exactly!
Franklin Veaux answers on Quora:
You set a boundary. You say, directly and firmly, ‘I am not ready to have sex yet.’ There's no special ‘way’ to say this - no particular technique or timing or anything.
2. ‘True love waits!’ - Well, yeah.
Mary Tod Allen answers on Quora:
Tell him your boundaries and ask him to respect them. He may be relieved when you say you're not ready. Avoid situations that make it hard to wait. Try group dating or active fun dates (rock climbing) that will build your relationship and allow you both to focus on the most important aspects of a dating relationships. True love waits!
3. ‘You don't have to explain why you aren't ready… It's your choice’ - Yes, you get to decide.
Alice S. Hattie answers on Quora:
Clearly, simply and to the point: ‘I'm not ready, and I don't know when I will be.’
Things to keep in mind - You don't have to explain why you aren't ready. If you want to that's cool, but you are not obligated. It's your choice. If the feedback you receive from anyone when stating you are not ready for sex is littered with anger, guilt, annoyance, or aggravation you may want to question your relationship with that person. It's very ok not to be ready. You know when you know and waiting for that moment in time is very ok.
4. ‘It's a really big decision that you just aren't ready to take.’ - And it’s absolutely okay.
Joe Foshizal answers on Quora:
You tell him it's a really big decision that you just aren't ready to take on yet.
5. ‘Have a talk with your boyfriend and tell him the truth.’ - Simple.
Animesh Mandal answers on Quora:
Getting intimate with someone is very personal. If you're not ready, whatever maybe the reasons, just let it be. Have a talk with your boyfriend and tell him the truth that you are having a hard time with yourself and you are not comfortable right now.
You can read the full thread here on Quora.
Hope this helped!
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Published on Apr 21, 2017