If you tell someone you’re a virgin and if you tell someone you are an alien, both of these pieces of information are going to evoke a very similar response. People just find it really hard to believe that someone can actually be a virgin in this sex-obsessed world - or they'll find it laughable. So, ladies, here are 11 things every virgin will get!
1. Every time someone finds out you are a virgin they behave like they swallowed an octopus!
Like, no words come out, just bizarre actions using all the limbs they possibly can and all this drama inevitably comes to an end with one question, ‘OMG, are you kidding me?!’
2. Detailed descriptions of people’s sex sessions just make you uncomfortable!
TMI, anyone? You didn’t need to know all the different types of human origami your friends have been trying in bed, did you?
3. Everyone keeps asking you, ‘How does your boyfriend not ask for it?’
Erm… Because he’s not a jerk who wants me to do something I don't want to, maybe?
4. Your friends feel the need to give you regular sex-ed classes while egging you to ‘try it’.
You constantly need to remind them that being a virgin doesn’t mean you are living under a rock. You know how a condom works and what contraceptives are.
5. You often find yourself imagining how your first time will be like…
And reading up as much as you can about it! *Sigh*
6. But you’re also a little scared…
Because, ahem… You’ve heard some horrible first-time stories too!
7. Your group of friends often refer to you as the ‘kid’ of the group.
*Slow claps* Real mature!
8. People often assume you won’t get sexual jokes, just because you aren’t having sex.
That just makes you wanna smack them left and right. *Takes a deep breath to calm down*
9. The ‘Are you saving yourself for marriage?’ questions just. do. not. end!
All you really wanna tell these people is, ‘None of your business!’ And you DO!
10. If you’re single, your friends keep trying to set you up with someone to ‘get it over with already!’
Why are we friends, again?
11. The ‘But what do you do when you feel horny?’ question makes you wonder if your friends are just plain stupid.
No, seriously. Ever heard of masturbation?
Published on Mar 17, 2017