I met Rohan in college. He was one year junior to me and we only began talking on our college trip. But once we began, there was no backing down. We hit it off instantly and had so many similar interests.
So even after the trip was over we often talked, in college and over texts. I won’t deny I really really liked him. The fact that our friends kept teasing us about each other didn’t help either. One day, after college, we were just chilling and having drinks together when he told me he liked me.
I sort of knew this was coming as he had enquired about whether or not I was seeing somebody, in the past too. Nevertheless, I acted coy and told him how unexpected it was. ‘I really love hanging out with you and yeah, I like everything about you’, he told me. ‘Well, that’s a good thing, I guess!’ I told him with a slight wink. He laughed, held my hand and said, ‘So are we dating?’ For a minute I was caught off guard. I did like him but I wanted to understand and know him before offering any kind of commitment. ‘We will be going on dates, if that’s what you mean’, I told him with a smile. ‘Sounds like a good start… How about this Friday? After college?’ he asked. ‘Done! It’s a date!’ I told him before heading back to class.
I knew he had recently gone through a breakup, he had told me that before. I also knew that he wasn’t completely over his ex. So the fact that he wanted to jump into dating sort of surprised me. I didn’t want to get into anything where the guy was just trying to replace me with somebody. I was glad we were going out on a date and trying to get to know each other before getting into anything serious.
Come Friday, I was super excited. I didn’t have a class so I wasn’t heading to college but I decided to meet him there after his classes were done. I took a nice bath, picked out a cute dress and headed to our campus where we had decided to meet. It was 15 minutes past the time that we had decided to meet at and he hadn’t called, messaged or shown up. I was getting confused about what to do so I called him up but his phone was not reachable. By now, I was getting annoyed, standing there and not being able to find out where he was. Also, since I was waiting for him inside the campus, tonnes of people I knew were coming up to me and asking what I was doing or who I was waiting for. It was turning out to be quite embarrassing for me.
I waited for half an hour before giving up and heading to my friend’s place nearby because I wanted a good cry. I couldn’t make sense of what was happening. He had asked me out, told me he liked me and now he was MIA? I waited for his text all night and cried myself to sleep. The next morning I woke up to a text from him, ‘Hey, I am so sorry. My friends dragged me somewhere. Can I make it up to you?’ I stared at the message for a long time, anger engulfing every inch of my body. His friends dragged him somewhere? He stood me up because his friends dragged him somewhere?
I skipped college for the next few days because I did not want to see his face. The embarrassment of the whole situation was killing me. I never texted him back and neither did he. This sudden emotional detachment was just way beyond my understanding.
It was only after those three days of cribbing and crying that I understood how stupid all of it was. Why was I letting him make me feel like sh*t when he was the one who was being a jerk? I decided I was way above it and went to college the next day. He didn’t talk to me even though we hung out in the same group.
It was only when he managed to find me alone that week that he came up to me. ‘I’m really sorry’ he told me. ‘I regret not showing up or letting you know. And I regret going out with my friends because, honestly, I ended up bumping into my ex and it was just super awkward!’ I listened to his apology patiently before getting up, I almost considered walking away but then I turned around and said, ‘You know, I would have forgiven you if you were still in love with your ex and I was your rebound. I would have forgiven you if you had cancelled on the date to be with your friends. I would have even forgiven, maybe, if you had simply cancelled. But this? This is just unacceptable and something I don’t need in my life. So from now, let me be your senior and you can be a friendly junior and we’ll keep it at that.’
I am glad I told him what I did, it helped me get some kind of closure to this almost relationship. That day onwards, we never really talked to each other but managed to be courteous. I heard he got back together with his ex and me, well, I found someone I actually fell in love with.
*Names changed to protect privacy.
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Published on Mar 15, 2017