#MyStory: How My Ex Saved Me From My Abusive Husband…
I know marriages are normally arranged in India but I think we should be given the chance of choosing our own life partners, so I have decided to share my story.
Ali and I passed out from the same school, so yes, it was a sweet teenage love story. He wanted to pursue medicine and I wanted to do CA, our professions were different and so these 4-5 years of our relationship were very hectic and unromantic. We hardly ever got to spend quality time with each other, and I would sometimes break down because I wouldn't get to meet him for months. Yes, I was madly in love with him. In our 8 year relationship, Ali had always been supportive. I don't know how guys bear our mood swings or our aggression, but I was very lucky to have Ali who was sweet and mature enough to handle all my tantrums.
However, just like in almost every Indian family, my family also started looking out for guys as they wanted me to get married after completing CA. I confessed to my mom my love for Ali and said that I wanted to marry him, but everyone in the family refused just because he belonged to a different religion. I was heartbroken. I even thought of ending my life as I could not survive without Ali and didn't want to let him go. I spoke to him over the phone and told him that we should elope as I could not bear the thought of marrying anyone else. To this, he said very calmly, ‘Honey, this is just our test. Lord will always give you the best and if I’m the best for you, destiny will never let us part...and if someone else is better than me, you'll have him. So any situation is a win-win situation for you. Believe in my love and believe in destiny,’ and he hung up.
Two weeks later, my parents found a well-established businessman, Suraj, who belonged to a ‘respectable family’ and I was married off to him. Totally shattered and grief stricken as I was, I accepted the way my life was leading me, until I realized that my so called ‘respectable family’ businessman husband was an alcoholic. Six months after our marriage, we shifted to Bangalore...and that’s when the abuse began. One week after we shifted to Bangalore, I was beaten, tortured, given burns by my husband for not serving him alcohol, and forced into bed every night. My life had become one horrifying nightmare.
I tried running away from home and even ending my life, but nothing worked. One fortunate day, however, my neighbour rang bell in the afternoon. I was too scared to invite her inside as Suraj could come back anytime and do anything, but she said that Suraj had told her husband in the morning that he was out for a meeting all day, and so I should not be afraid. She asked me for my family’s number, and anyone else whom I wanted to contact, as she could hear me scream and she had sensed something fishy. She said that she could inform them and help me get out of this horrifying relationship, so I gave her my elder brother’s number whom I loved endlessly. I also gave her Ali's number, and asked to call and see if the number was working. She knew of my love for him as we had had a conversation regarding this earlier.
That night, for the first time in ages, I breathed a sigh of relief even though my husband was home. Just like every other night, he asked me to serve him alcohol, which I did, but suddenly he asked me to eat non veg. I couldn't eat it because I am a vegetarian, and he yelled saying, ‘Uss ke saath rehti to banati bhi aur khati bhi thi, phir abb kya hua?’
Ali had never forced me to eat or make non veg, he accepted me the way I was and loved me for who I am. He encouraged me to achieve more, to grow every day and to do whatever I loved. Meanwhile, Suraj got annoyed and abused me. When I refused to eat non veg, he threw a glass at me, grabbed my hair dragged me to the living room from the kitchen, kicking me in the stomach. I was bleeding, I had blood all over and I fell on the floor. As everything started going blurry, I heard the bell ring...it was my neighbour with the cops!
I was rushed to the hospital and my neighbour informed Ali and my brother. Ali was a doctor in the same hospital and he spoke to his senior doctor for my treatment. I could see tears rolling down his eyes, that was the first time I saw him break down. He held my hand and said, ‘I won’t let you go back to him. This time, no one can tear us apart.’
Suraj was arrested by the cops, and my family reached the hospital. My father yelled at Ali, abusing him for being a curse in my life and blaming him for my failed marriage. But this time, Ali couldn't tolerate this. He raised his voice and yelled, ‘It is because of you that my love is in this state, fighting for her life. And mind you, this time I won't let you ruin her life any further.’ Somehow, my father couldn't utter a word, because somewhere deep down he agreed with Ali and felt bad about marrying me off to Suraj. I gained consciousness after 24 hours and Ali held my hand in front of my parents and said, ‘You're mine and I won't let anyone take you away from me.’
His love gave me the strength to get out of my abusive relationship and divorce Suraj. And now, nothing, not even destiny, can part us.
*Names changed to protect privacy.
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Published on Jan 4, 2017