Life isn’t always made up of roses and rainbows. Many times, things do not work out for reasons we may be unable to understand at that point in time. When we love someone, we tend to assume that things will turn out to be the fairytale we have lived in our heads, numerous times. And when that does not happen, moving on becomes a challenge. But that is life, isn’t it? No matter what, you’ve got to keep going and you’ve got to believe that you’re going to be just fine. You’ve got to hope for the better and do everything in your power to not let the past haunt your present and ruin your future.
So if you’re still trying to get over your ex, we want you to know that, you will get there. And when you think you are there, try saying these 5 things. If you can say them all, without flinching, without feeling guilty or sad, you will know that you are over your ex, finally!
1. It’s over, there is no turning back now. And I am okay with it.
Acceptance is the first step in healing. Accept your hurt, your pain and your loss. And then, if you can be okay with all of this, it means you have truly let go. It means that you have been able to conquer everything that was compelling you to hold on to a relationship that had no colours left in it. It means…no matter what, you are going to make it.
2. I forgive you
Saying these words is way easier than meaning them. Holding grudges and counting pitfalls isn’t going to get you anywhere. Don’t try to see the situation in black and white and don’t try to pin the blame on him or yourself. If you can forgive him, and mean it to the best of your emotional competence, you have crossed an important hurdle on the road to moving on. And trust us, it’s going to get easier from here on.
3. I am letting the bad memories go, and I am keeping the good ones. No hard feelings…
Gloom doesn’t abandon a heart filled with grudges. If you can tell your ex and yourself this simple thing, you will find that your troubled past no longer haunts you. Instead, you remember the better things about your relationship. If life brings you two face to face sometime in the future, you will not find yourself in an uncomfortable spot. It may just be a pleasant encounter after all. If you are able to achieve this, trust us, you are doing better than you think.
4. I am sorry
Irrespective of what acted as the last nail in the coffin, you too may have been at fault at some point in time. Saying sorry is not about being the smaller person or taking complete ownership of your break-up. It is about telling your ex and yourself that you are ready to apologize for the hiccups you caused in the relationship and that although you really wanted things to work out, it’s time you both accept that they probably won’t. Saying sorry puts the bad memories out of focus so you don’t part with grudges. If you can say the words ‘I am sorry’ and mean them, then you have climbed the steepest stair to recovery.
5. I forgive myself
Forgive yourself for everything that you feel went wrong because of you. Whether it was the fact that you didn’t try hard enough or you were too demanding or you didn’t take a strong enough stand for yourself, stop beating yourself up for it. Forgive and forget. If you can forgive yourself then you have finally moved on, and now there is no looking back.
If you have been able to say all of these things then kudos to you! Well done! We are proud of you! And if you can’t say these five things just yet, take a deep breath and smile. It may take some time but you will get there. Stay strong and don’t give up, girl!
