#ArrangedShaadi: My *Biggest* Struggle As Bride-To-Be!
A few months ago, S and I met through our families and decided to get married to each other. From the first awkward phone call, to the first date to the first time we kept talking all night long - this is the eighth in the series all about our arranged marriage… Read #ArrangedShaadi: To Be Or Not To Be A ‘Good Indian Bahu’ ... here!
I almost didn’t write this post. I had forgotten all about it until this morning when I woke up, saw the date and realized with a quickened heartbeat that I had missed the deadline for sending it in. I shouted mad and hurried instructions at mum to keep everything else on hold, and sat down to do my job first.
…And I am not even married, yet!
With just ten days left to the wedding, my mind is an ocean of a million thoughts crashing in every second. I constantly keep reminding myself to talk to the decorator, to ask all the boutiques to send in my pieces, to go buy matching accessories, to practice my dance steps, to lose a few kilos, to learn how to cook something edible. Add to this - my job, my family who wants to spend a little more time with me, and S who wants to make these last few days of our courtship special. This I think, is every girl’s struggle as a bride to be.
It’s like, suddenly everyone in the world wants my time and I am always, without fail, short of it. My phone keeps ringing and my sisters keep reminding me of someone I forgot to invite, or some relative who’s acting up, or some other important chore that’s left to be done. Every night, before I hit the bed, I just wish I had more time to plan my wedding.
‘Brace yourself, darling, this is like a teaser to your married life ahead. Between your husband, your in-laws, your family, friends and your job – you’d find yourself wishing you had more hours in the day’ spoke a wise cousin, who had recently gotten married herself.
I guess she’s right. It’s a crazy balancing act, getting married!. And I am light years away from becoming an expert juggler. So along with learning how to juggle my twenty-four hours between everything, I am also learning how to let go. Sometimes I have to let go meeting my friends, ‘coz my in-laws are coming over and at other times I have to let go of a cousins’ reunion, ‘coz I got my office work to finish off. I am just trying to do one at a time and do it right. Whatever it is that needs to be done, first.
Then, of course, I am learning to delegate too. I am crazy about supervising every little thing before okaying it – and that just keeps adding on to my workload. So, I am learning how to ask for help and let other people keep me sane. I am learning to accept I can’t do everything on my own - Not right away, at least.
But most importantly, I am learning that while juggling, I will lose my balance. More often than I would want it to. Things will not happen the way I want them to and I will get disappointed. But there’s a way out of all this, and that’s a million dollar secret. Here it is: Just breathe in and deliberately make an attempt at staying happy. This may sound like naïve advice to you, but trust me, it works. For one, everyone is way keener on helping happier-looking people, and two, when you’re happy, it’s easier to let go and not let the frustration of everything that didn’t happen the way you wanted to, cling to you.
Oh, I almost forgot about telling you of the biggest perk about being a bride-to-be: EVERYONE is way more kind, understanding and accommodating to your needs, moods and mistakes. So don’t worry about a thing, you will be just fine. Shine on and enjoy your moment in the spotlight. And don’t forget to wear your smile!