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#ArrangedShaadi: Love Or Arranged… Here’s Why It Doesn’t Matter

#ArrangedShaadi: Love Or Arranged… Here’s Why It Doesn’t Matter

A few months ago, S and I met through our families and decided to get married to each other. From the first awkward phone call, to the first date to the first time we kept talking all night long – this is the eighth in the series all about our arranged marriage… Read #ArrangedShaadi: My *Biggest* Struggle As A Bride-To-Be… here!    

“You know what I am scared about? I am scared that I fought with my entire family for love, and if things go wrong, only I’d be to blame” said a friend who is marrying her boyfriend of two years.

“In my case, if things go wrong, I wouldn’t even have myself to blame.” I said, in turn.

We’re both getting married and couldn’t step into two more different lives. While she is marrying the love of her life, I am marrying the guy my parents chose for me. While she is stepping into a nuclear family, I am going to join my in-laws’ big fat clan. While she chose this life for herself, I kinda agreed to what my parents chose for me – and now, we’re both equally nervous.

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I’ll admit it though; I feel she’s got it better than me. I mean, at the very least, she knows and loves the guy she’s marrying. But last week, she surprised me by confessing to me that she had always hoped for her in-laws to be just like mine.

We’re both wishing for the other’s reality. Isn’t it crazy?

Maybe, it’s the wedding season that takes a toll on us all, every year. I mean, we just get so busy making comparisons left, right and centre that we hardly stop to realize that we might be living someone else’s dream. Bet you never thought about that, did ya?

Internal make the best of your marriage

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Here’s the thing. You will never feel you have enough if you live by the yardstick of other’s lives. There will always be someone younger, prettier, smarter than you. That’s just how it is. Even when you’re getting married, there will be a couple with a bigger wedding budget or a better location. You can either let their reality get to you, or make the best of what you got. How, you ask? Like this – If you’re marrying into a nuclear family, enjoy the privacy it gives you. If you’re marrying into a joint family, enjoy the sense of belonging and warmth it gives you. If you’re marrying your boyfriend, be happy that you found the one, if you’re marrying someone your parents found – get busy trying to be the one for him. It’s your life, don’t make it boring by wishing it to be like everyone else’s. Make the best of your marriage. Live your unique story and turn your dream into your reality, a little every day, instead.

Might we suggest you to put your blinkers on and turn a blind eye to the world? That’s more like it.

Images: Shutterstock

05 Dec 2016

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good points

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