This year we saw some great Bollywood movies like Dangal, Neerja, Pink and many more that were just too good for words… And yet there were some movies that made us go WTF?! From ruining classics to making shitty sequels, Bollywood gave us many reasons to cringe! And here are some of them…
1. When they totally ruined our FAV classic songs…
Bollywood to Badshah: ‘Hello, Badshah? It’s time to ruin another classic, bro!’
This year, Bollywood remade many songs and, well, let’s just say that now we realize how our parents must have felt when they heard the ‘Kaanta Laga’ remix. Why would you destroy some perfectly good songs, Bollywood? And that’s why people saying, ‘he’s Badshah, not garam masala…stop putting him into everything!’ are totally right!
2. When they told us that a man who cooks isn’t your husband, he’s your ‘wife’ because…duh!
Ki & Ka: A movie that made zero sense tried to teach us this lesson – if a man cooks and does household chores, he’s NOT your husband, he’s your wife. After all, women belong in the kitchen, right?! WRONG. THIS is Bollywood Ka Gyaan: 101.
3. When there was no time for research, but they made a movie anyway!
We’re talking about Mohenjo Daro, of course. You know when you’re in college and you have a submission the next day, but you haven’t even started with the project? What do you do? Google, right?! Well, for this movie, Ashutosh Gowariker didn’t even bother to Google Mohenjo-daro. We can imagine him saying, ‘Ah! Let’s make a film called Mohenjo Daro about Mohenjo-daro, but let’s save everyone in the end!’
4. When they made movies JUST about…BOOBS! (Oh! And Tusshar Kapoor)
So earlier this year, two tragedies occurred! We are referring to the release of two movies: Mastizaade and Kya Kool Hain Hum 3. In all honesty, we can’t really say which genre they belonged to though. Because all they were filled with was…boobs, sex, Sunny Leone and Tusshar Kapoor. Okay okay…obviously the movies had more to them. Mastizaade had Sunny Leone in a double role and Kya Kool Hain Hum 3 also had Aftab Shivdasani. Yeah, that’s about it!
5. When hurting ‘male ego’ was too big a deal! Seriously!
So Karan Johar made a film called Ae Dil Hai Mushkil this year to make us feel a *little* bad about ourselves… Because, you see, we don’t go on a vacation to Paris after we break up with a hot guy (a guy as hot as Fawad Khan), we never make friends that have private jets and then have that friend fall in love with us. Haan, yaar, such is life…in K-Jo movies! So, this movie tried to teach us another life lesson… That we should never ever hurt a guy’s ego by telling him that we don’t have feelings for him. If we do so, they’ll hold us guilty for the rest of our lives…
6. When Bollywood basically thought ‘Abs dikhao aur paise kamao!’
So we saw this movie Baaghi and we can’t remember anything about the movie apart from Tiger Shroff’s abs and urmm…we remember that there were some fight scenes too. And the actress? Oh yes, Shraddha Kapoor was also in the movie… So what we’re trying to say is…humare 500 rupaye toh gaye paani mein, no? Oh we’ve got a better one! Humare 500 rupaye toh gaye Tiger Shroff ki abs training mein! *Sigh*
7. When they annoyed people baar baar! Ek baar se mann nahi bhara…
This movie Baar Baar Dekho was the perfect example of how you should annoy someone again and again by making them watch bullshit…vo bhi baar baar!
8. When Bollywood basically told us to fall for the weird guy and not make wise life decisions!
Dear filmmakers, don’t make ‘young love stories’ if your youth got over some 20 years ago… The result will be movies like Befikre.
So Befikre taught us many things… Don’t fall for the right guy, fall for the creepy one instead. Don’t worry if he calls you a slut, he’ll realize he’s wrong at some point. Be Befikre and do whatever random shit you want to do…strip in public libraries, steal underwears, break into hotel rooms and have sex. Basically, don’t make intelligent life decisions… Well, thanks but no thanks, Bollywood!
9. When they made sequels of superhit movies and ruined even the first part!
So 2016 was a year of making sequels…or should we say the year of ruining the original movie for everyone? We saw Rock On 2, Kahaani 2, Tum Bin 2 and there was another sequel to the movie Ghayal called Ghayal: Once Again. Yep, Bollywood officially ruined the first parts! So what did we learn, you ask? We learnt that if you give a good performance once, you should not decide to make a sequel, just because!!
10. When they built up so much suspense only to disappoint later…
This year we saw posters, motion posters, teaser videos, open letters and what not?! First they built up the hype and then they disappointed! So the next time you’re planning to surprise someone, don’t forget to give them motion posters, teasers and fir gift mein kuch bhi de dena, ki farak painda hai?
We really hope 2017 is a good year for us and for Bollywood. Please bhagwan ji?
