What Guys *Really* Think About Arranged Marriages... Revealed!
Shivani ShrivastavaTrending Writer
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We always talk of what girls think about arranged marriages. But have you guys ever wondered what men think about it? We found this super interesting thread on Quora where guys are revealing what they *really* feel about arranged marriages. Read on to know what they have to say.
1. “The most important thing to me was to be with someone who loved me.”
“I was scared to death of it. The thought of marrying someone and then hoping they didn't laugh at my naked body or lovemaking skills was mortifying. The most important thing to me was to be with someone who loved me.
I have seen arranged marriages that thrive, but I have also seen many where the notion of romantic love does not exist in any way. Nowadays the trend in my family is really much more of allowing kids to meet and find their own mates, but within a limited pool of other Hindu Indians. Many love marriages too are based upon limited sexual exploration and often suffer when reality sets in.
Neither the arranged marriage or the love marriage approach is perfect in my opinion. I believe that a better way is to allow for premarital dating and sex without shame or stigma.”
2. “I respect the tradition very much...but, I can't imagine myself in one.”
Arranged Marriages do last a lot longer than love marriages. Orthodox Jews, Zoroastrians and Hindus are likely to be the wealthiest, most highly educated and most philanthropic religious minorities in every society they immigrate to - and even when they aren't upper class, which might discourage divorce, they seem to have long-lasting marriages.
...but, I can't imagine myself in one.
Other than some obvious problems that make me the opposite of an ‘eligible bachelor’, having had lived away from my family for most of my life, I always fear that they don't really know what I like. So, to have them choose someone I will be stuck with for the rest of my life is very daunting.”
3. “Arranged marriages sometimes work and sometimes don’t. That’s it.”
“We often tend to overlook the advantages of arranged marriages. Arranged marriages are not necessarily the worst. They can be good sometimes for those who are actually meant to meet that way, like someone said, there are always pros and cons of every possible things in life, you can't just claim that those who have had love marriages will be happy forever or soon be going through divorce .
Don't stereotype arranged marriages, like any other marriage, they sometimes work, they sometimes don't and that's it.”
“There are positive sides of arranged marriages but, in my opinion, the negative side over runs the former.
I find arranged marriages misogynistic. If the girl is rejected at one time then everyone starts blaming her. Even today, many girls my age including women I have studied with, got married by the time they turn 21. People that defend arranged marriages, I ask, do these girls really had a say in that? Do girls wanna get married to an older (at least 5-6 years) guy who happens to like her photo? Even if it seems to be her choice her opinion seldom matters.”