Twenties is a wonderful age to explore life and love. And more often than not you will find yourself amidst a lot of confusion and doubt. Though we can’t help you with all those times, there is something we can help you with. Yup, sex! Here are 20 things every girl should know about sex in her 20s! It’s everything they didn’t tell you in sex-ed!
1. Sex can be awkward
Yes, sex will be awkward on more occasions than one. You will end up in a weird position, might fart or just laugh at the other person. There will be times when it definitely won’t be like what they show in the movies. But you know what? That’s cool. Because there is no script in real life.
2. There’s more to a man than just his penis
Yup, just like there is more to you than your vayjayjay, there is more to a man as well. Kiss him on his jawline, his neck, his chest...explore his body as he explores yours.
3. Getting naked for the first time is not that big a deal
We know you’ve been worrying about how you will look in front of him but honestly, if he really likes you then he wouldn’t care. All that will matter to him would be to have you by his side.
4. Sex cliches work
Bubble baths, dim lighting, bed-side chocolate...all these sexy cliches you’ve seen in the movies are actually there because they work. Don’t shy away from them. Whenever you get a chance, turn things a little more classic. *Wink*
5. Asking for what you want is not embarrassing...
Because if you don’t ask, you won’t get it. It’s as simple as that. Your partner is not a mind reader so he can’t tell what you want unless you discuss it with him. It’s not embarrassing, in fact he will prefer it.
6. Condoms are NOT optional
No matter what people say, protection is absolutely essential. You can’t say no to it...ever. There is a lot of risk in not using protection that you definitely don’t want in your life!
7. You can and you should help him out
And by that we mean - help him, help yourself. Touching yourself during sex is not a crime. You know what your body craves for, so go out and get it...through him. Guide him, help him wherever you can. He will appreciate it and you will get the pleasure as well!
8. Every woman has a position that works
If you think there is no particular thing that stands out for you during sex, then think again. Every woman has some position, some gesture that works wonders for her. If you haven’t found one yet then keep looking!
9. You don’t always have to have an orgasm...
It’s tough, ladies. Don’t blame yourself for not having an orgasm. Also, don’t fake one. It’s absolutely okay to not have an orgasm every time you have sex and it’s something your partner should understand.
10. But you should never stop trying
However, of course, on the contrary if you haven’t been able to have an orgasm for a while now, don’t give up. Keep trying because it is only practice that can make both a man and a woman perfect.
11. You should initiate sex
Throw away those inhibitions out of the window. There is nothing sinful about initiating sex or admitting that you want it. It actually turns on men even more. So really, let the age old traditions go!
12. The pain - it gets better with time!
First time sex is painful. But even then not as painful as everyone accepts it to be. However, after you’ve had it for a couple of times, it stops hurting as much as you’d think. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule as well. So in case you are still facing extreme pain during sex, it might be a good idea to visit a gynaecologist.
13. It’s okay to get emotional after sex
If you feel like you are about to burst out crying then remember that it’s okay to do that after sex. The whole physical process of sex builds up emotions and that’s okay. So no you are not crazy if you get teary-eyed after sex. It’s absolutely normal.
14. Cuddle up!
Both men and women enjoy cuddling so you can forget the myth that men don’t enjoy it. Cuddle up after sex, it will only help you two bond at a much deeper level.
15. It’s okay to say ‘no’
Yes, you CAN say ‘no’. It’s normal to tell your partner that. And if he understands that your consent is as important as his, then you know you’ve found someone who is worth it.
16. Reciprocation is important
Sex is not a selfish act. You have to reciprocate what you get and if you don’t think you can, then make it clear from the very beginning. Don’t give someone hope just to let them down. Also, remember to keep complimenting your partner, it makes a hell of a difference!
17. It’s okay to have different preferences
If you do find someone who has similar tastes as you, then great! But you and your partner will not have similar preferences all the time. You may like period sex when he doesn’t. He could like anal sex when you don’t. However, this should not be a problem in the long run. Try to find a common ground despite the differences instead of freaking out about them.
18. Know about STDs
A very, very important step. Even if you missed the Biology class when STDs were being discussed, make sure you brush up your knowledge before you start having sex. Read about how sexually transmitted diseases happen, what are the different kinds of STDs. There are several STDs you could have even after you use a condom, that won’t risk your life but still need to be treated immediately.
19. Enjoy the moment...
Don’t panic if you feel you aren’t that great at sex. Nobody is during their first time. Sex is like wine, it only gets better with time! The most important thing, which all of us forget in between all the self-doubt and confusion, is to enjoy the moment. So just relax, enjoy the moment and make love in all its glory.
20. But remember to pee after!
It’s super important to pee after sex even if you simply want to cuddle next to your man because if you don’t, the chances of you catching urinary tract infection increase! So ladies, just get out of bed for five minutes and attend to your business.