It’s going to be a long tiring journey – the planning, the running around, the pre-rituals, the actual wedding day… And all this will not only take a physical but also a mental and emotional toll on you and your hubby. Add to that the anticipation and the build-up to the first night – it can be exhausting. Slow down, breathe in and take our advice - we’ll let you know all that you should, about your wedding night!
1. Let’s start with - well, it is going to be awkward
No matter how well you know (or don’t know) your partner, this first night is going to be superbly awkward. You’ll be high on emotions, and you may not know what to say or do. Your lingerie might snap, you may feel odd to be naked, you may stumble and fall on your heavy ghagra, or you may just doze off for a bit. Just relax. Remember he too has butterflies in his stomach.
2. Try to make it special – not perfect!
Just like your big day, you’d have imagined your big night to be perfect too. But you know what – this is just about you and him and honestly, no one will know what happened inside, unless one of you tell. Just focus on making it really, really intimate for the two of you. After all, it’s not all you have. There are thousands of nights to come from here on.
3. It's best to keep your expectations low
Sometimes super high expectations can set you up for serious disappointment. So don’t plan too much and just go with the flow. For all you know, the two of you may just doze off in each other’s arms – but then hey, that’s beautiful too.
4. Shut the doors to your past
Keep all your baggage outside the doors of the past and shut it. Don’t bring it into your marriage, even in the form of a casual conversation. Don’t try to dig up his past either and never play the comparison game. Besides, your first night is about the two of you – not the skeletons in your closet.
5. Wear something sexy but comfortable
That stringy lingerie you saw on the mannequin or on the model in the brochure might look really awesome but if it doesn’t fit you well, it’s a waste. No point spending the night worrying about the fit or the misfit it is on you. It should be as comfortable as your second skin, only then will you feel sexy in it.
6. It’s nothing like in the books...
Or in the movies you may have watched. Making love on the wedding night is a not a neat, romantic, textbook sort thing they show in the movies. It doesn’t have a precise process either. It can be awkward, messy and kinda hilarious!
7. Sex might hurt a little
If it’s your first time, you may bleed a bit. If it isn't your first time, it might still hurt to be with a new person. And even if you have been with him before, sex could hurt because of a million other reasons too! So just relax, take a deep breath, and try again the next night.
8. And it’s not just about the sex
Let us remind you that the wedding night is not the end, but the start of your life together. Marriage is about real intimacy and togetherness, not just about sex. It’s about connecting mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Your first night is symbolic of these factors!
9. You’ll learn along the way
Most girls feel clumsy and foolish on their wedding night and might think that they're doing everything wrong. That’s not true, you have to cut yourself some slack. This is probably one of the most tiring days of your life. Like we’ve said before, there are a thousand nights ahead.
10. Ask the mentor
We all have that pre-shaadi mentor in the form of an elder sibling or cousin or a good friend who is married and will share all the dirty wisdom you need to arm yourself for the night. Don’t be afraid to ask and clarify your doubts and even ask for a few tips about post-wedding sex – you’ll get to hear free anecdotes too.
11. You won’t know everything anyway
There is just so much hype about the ‘suhaag raat’ in India or for that matter about the wedding night in every culture that you are bound to be nervous. Also know that no matter how much you’ve read or seen or known about it - sex within marriage is an entirely different ballgame. If anything, you have a lot to unlearn and learn again. And this is just the beginning!
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Published on Nov 11, 2016