Rishta meetings are THE most important part in an arranged marriage setup. Everything literally depends on how this one meeting goes… But have you ever been confused about what do people talk to each other about during these meetings? Or have you already been in a situation where you had no clue what to ask the other person? Well, Quora is here to our rescue. We found some people telling us exactly what one can talk about during a rishta meeting. So here, read on and find out.
1. “What qualities are you looking for in a partner?” - The most important one.
Anonymous answers on Quora: With a couple of bad first dates with two girls shortlisted by my parents and me, I figured I needed a strategy to sort this out. The whole arranged marriage environment took me by surprise due to which I decided to come up with the due diligence plan.
Personality questions to ask:
1. What qualities are you looking for in a partner?
2. Are you an optimist or a pessimist?
3. Why are you thinking to marry?
4. Are you an introvert/ extrovert?
5. Have you lived independently; do you want to? before and after marriage?
6. What are you passionate about?
7. Are you ambitious?
8. Have you ever faced a major crisis and how did you face it?
9. Are you creative – arts, dance, music etc.?
Likes and dislikes:
1. Favorite type of movies, books, tv shows etc?
2. Do you like reading?
3. Do you have pets?
4. How do you spend your day?
Due to my past experiences and from what I have seen around with friends, my new 'framework' is just to be sure that the person I marry has the following qualities (not in any order): she is a person with a good heart, is intelligent, looks good and is loyal. Aside from looks, these are the permanent qualities I hope for in my life partner. Otherwise as a wise person once said - change is the only constant.
2. “Tell me about your friends?” - Because you get to know a lot about a person from the kind of friends he/ she has...
Neha Gupta answers on Quora: I am writing this answer from point of view of a girl. I have seen many successful arranged marriages in my family including my parents and before starting my matrimonial journey I received some advice from elders which I am sharing here
Start with the most safest and basic question:
1. What are your hobbies? (This can lead to some interesting conversations which will give you a fair idea about his lifestyle and nature)
2. Followed by this you can ask - is there any one hobby which you wanted to pursue but you couldn't?
3. What you usually do after coming back to home after office?
4. What are your future aspirations?
5. Tell me about your friends? (You can get idea about his circle,what kind of people does he hang around with)
6. In your family, who are you closest to?
7. What are your expectations from your partner?
I guess only after first meeting you should ask him more personal questions regarding his past relationship, finances, savings. But the most important point which I feel is beyond this questionnaire is always TRUST YOUR VIBES.
3. “What do you think about having kids?” - Talking about kids so it’s clear once and for all.
Anonymous answers on Quora: I am a guy, so I will write the points from a guy's angle. However, these points are also valid for girls. Talk to her about...
1. Her hobbies
2. Her education
3. Her dreams
4. Family values
5. Anyone she likes
6. Her dream guy
7. What do you think about having kids (Will you? and when?)
8. Her lifestyle
9. Religious Beliefs
4. “If you express interest, most people are happy to talk…” - The right way to do it.
Aditi Barve answers on Quora: Two of the main things I talked about:
1. Myself. Yes, that’s my favourite topic. I started off by talking about myself, because I feel that the person feels more comfortable when he realises that the person in front of him is not interrogating him.
2. If the person in front of me was awkward and shy, I would probe a little bit. Get him to open up about his work, maybe his family, ask if he was an only child. Ask about his friends. If he lived in a different city, I would ask how the place is like.
In my opinion, it’s important to actually want to know a person. Yes, you have nothing in common, but if you express an interest, most people are happy to talk.
5. “Drinking and smoking preferences?” - Oh yeah, this one is an important one too.
Anonymous answers on Quora:
1. Family background
2. Hobbies and interests.Books, movies and music we like
3. School, college and grad school days.
4. Room mates and day to day life
5. Food/ cuisine we like and/or cook
6. Drinking/ smoking- preferences
Gwen Sawchuk answers on Quora: l don't think it makes that much difference if it is an arranged 'meeting' or a date.The purpose is the same. You want to illuminate the other person's character and integrity, and reveal your true nature as well. Honesty is paramount, and should be a top priority.
So asking questions that will go to this goal would be the way to start.
What TV shows do you find to be funny?
What books do you read?
These sorts of questions are good for a start, basics to see if you like the same sorts of things. Then move on to deeper subjects, to understand your date
Do you think your parents prepared you well for life? Would you like your children to be different or the same?
How important do you see religion to be in your life?
Do you think parents should live with adult children?
Who do you think should make the most financial decisions?
You can find the full thread on Quora here.
Well, this was quite informative.
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6. “Who do you think should make the most financial decisions?” - Because sirf pyaar se ghar nai chalta :P