Right at the outset, let me urge you to hear me out before judging me. I know it sounds horrible, but it’s true that I tried to break up my guy bestie and his girlfriend. And before you jump to any conclusions, no, I didn’t have any feelings for him. Our relationship was platonic from the start.
My best friend Ankit and I went way, way back. We had seen each other through school crushes, apparent heartbreaks in college, and so much more. Between ourselves, we had created a ‘no judge’ zone. I could tell him all about my feelings and dating dilemmas and he could do the same. Honestly, it was awesome that I had this male figure in my life who would always lend me so much perspective. I was dating someone and would cry to him about all my boyfriend woes. He would let me whine and rant, and when it was an extreme case he’d take me to drown my sorrows in beer. We loved and valued our friendship throughout. It was more than a friendship, it was a brotherhood.
His dating life had always been exciting. He entered this phase of his life where he was feeling very experimental and I was, therefore, expected to meet and hang with a new girlfriend every few months. Most of them got along with me easily, there were never any conflicts. In fact, I was happy that he was thinking about his future and would always view these girls as potential marriage material for my bestie! This resulted in many hilarious dinners analyzing and assessing his girlfriends. Yes, I could leave behind my girly views and think like a guy when I was with him.
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Then came along this new girl. As far as I knew, Ankit was single and loving it at that given point in his life. He introduced me to her one night and told me they had become good friends. I made nothing much of it, and spent the night hanging out with them. For once, he hadn’t expressed himself to me clearly. That alone made me feel sort of uncomfortable. Call it a ‘woman’s intuition’, but something felt wrong. Soon I realized that he liked her and she was ‘technically’ seeing someone else.
This girl was bad news. Turned out, she had been committed to another guy for many years, and now she was stringing my friend along by showing interest in him while still being with someone else. For a while, I didn’t say anything and just hoped that my friend would sense it and get himself out of this complicated situation. But things were way worse than what I had imagined, because she began to become a part of his daily routine. Not just that, she also started working with him. (To this day, I don’t know how that just ‘miraculously’ happened). But soon, I felt him alienate not just me, but a lot of other people he was close to.
Here’s when I really started trying to do something about the situation. To begin with, I had a frank talk with him. Since honesty had always been our strong suit, I really thought he’d appreciate it. Well, he did hear me out and said he respected my views, but he didn’t do anything about it.
Then, I made it a point to not include her in any social event, thus clearly sending out a signal that I saw through her shenanigans. I stopped communicating with her completely, letting go of the little bit of faux decency that I had shown in the past. I gave out every signal in the world to show Ankit the error of his ways, but he had been blinded by this point. It was extremely sad because not only was she unfair to him but also, clearly, to the other guy in her life.
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The other reason I knew this girl was bad news was also because she changed him for the worse. Ankit, once the most caring and humble guy in the world, now became a pompous jackass and many people were pissed with him. This affected his work, it affected his health, and it clearly took over his whole life.
Unfortunately, after many failed attempts, there was nothing I could do anymore. I happened to lose my best friend in the process. I know I could have faked it to make him happy, but I owed it to our friendship to be genuine. She was bad news for him and I couldn’t watch him throw his life away like that. I know that had he been in my place, he would have done the same for me. Just knowing this makes me feel more confident about everything I’ve said or done. I guess like some relationships, some friendships come with a shelf life too. I know it was great while it lasted.
If I had to assign a moral to this story, I would say that telling the truth and staying true to your guns is no easy task. But if you like to be that way, also be prepared for collateral damage. Sometimes honesty comes with a price, and mine costed me a whole friendship.
P.S.: She still has him hanging on a string, and it’s painful to see – even from afar.
*Names changed to protect privacy
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Published on Nov 02, 2016