Did Ae Dil Hai Mushkil make you think of a zillion memories and emotions that were so deep and yet so confusing? Remember those nagging comments you got so used to when you were in an almost relationship? How difficult was it to snap out of it? Read on to know the love lessons I learnt from my ‘almost’ relationship...
1. Being in an almost relationship can be a good idea...
Sometimes, all you need is a partner to have some good times with, hook up with, without the burden and commitment that comes with the official ‘in a relationship’ tag. For particular phases in life, an almost relationship is, in fact, a great way to find happiness and explore yourself with a new person.
2. But letting go is difficult and painful nevertheless!
Even though what I had with him wasn’t quite love, it was almost love... But letting go of that and the memories of the times we spent together, hurt nevertheless. And sometimes deleting his contact number just helps, out of personal experience!
3. Some relationships don't last but they make you realize what you want!
Not every story has a fairytale ending. However, the shortcomings of my almost relationship taught me certain qualities that I definitely want in a partner, and some traits that I’m just not fine with, to be able see a future with him.
4. Whatever happens, happens for the best!
Not every relationship is supposed to end in love. As they say, people come in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime, leaving us with some important life lessons.
5. You learn to love yourself...
Boring as it may sound, it’s tried and tested, whether you are on one end or the other. Eventually, you realize your worth and the way you wish and deserve to be treated. And that's when you start to love yourself! Remember, it’s alright to put yourself first!
6. To make things work, your fundamentals should be similar!
My almost relationship taught me, that in order to see a future with a man your core fundamentals and the way you think must be similar, if not the same. Otherwise your relationship would be more about arguments and disagreements, nothing but a constant struggle to find harmony.
7. At the end of the day, you won’t know how real it is...
Since you’re more than friends and less than lovers, such middle ground creates for a lot of ambiguity. Questions like, ‘Can I be possessive like a girlfriend?’, ’Am I being overly expressive and emotional towards him?’ and ’What do I tell my friends about him?’ are bound to trouble you every now and then. Such frustration can be tough to deal with but being in a relationship is really just a bunch of trials and errors, really.
8. Just physical compatibility is not enough!
A relationship is a quirky combination of physical and emotional compatibility. I learnt that by simply being physically attracted and compatible with him, we couldn’t force an emotional connection to exist as well.
9. Sometimes the timing is just wrong and there's nothing you can do!
In case you are ready and he is not, there is a chance that he may never be as ready as you. Similarly, if you aren’t sure about him in spite of knowing him for a while, you may never be sure. This is a red flag - stop hoping that intense feelings of love would crop up out of the blue. It didn't happen for me and I've learnt to accept it.
10. It’s wise to step away and be selfish at times
I believe that you must enjoy your almost relationship as long as you are honest and okay with the way it’s working out to be. If you are looking at a future and a stable long-term relation, then it’s a wise idea to step back and save yourself from the pain of a more intense heartbreak. Don't settle for less than what you want - you won't forgive yourself or him for it!
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Published on Nov 22, 2016