Going for an arranged marriage meeting can be a tad bit stressful. It is definitely awkward for both - knowing exactly why you’re meeting and yet trying to play it cool is no mean feat. As part of an attempt to make this easier for you, we present to you 10 questions you must ask the guy during your first meeting. His response to these will give you a fair idea of what you might be getting into and if he really is the one for you. Read on.
1. ‘What do you enjoy doing in your free time and what are your hobbies?’
This question makes for an amazing icebreaker. You can ask him about his hobbies, things he likes to indulge in, the places he has travelled to, and so on and so forth. This way you can get to know more about him, discover common interests and share your experiences.
2. ‘What are your food preferences?’
This is another general question you can ask him, to further learn about his preferences when it comes to food, whether he is a vegetarian or can’t do without non-vegetarian food, his favourite cuisine and places he enjoys dining at. You may even be surprised to know that the guy is a great cook himself! #BonusPoints
3. ‘Your views on drinking and smoking?’
While it is completely okay to be a strict non-smoker and non-drinker yourself, but to force one’s opinions and judgement onto others is a complete no. For a girl who loves to wine and dine every once in awhile, a guy who is dead against it and won’t have it any other way but his, isn’t someone she can share her life with. Therefore, being on the same page with respect to these preferences is a must these days.
4. ‘What do you do for a living? Do you love your line of work?’
You will probably already know what his profession is, but it’s important to know from the horse’s mouth. What a typical work day is for him, how passionate he is about his job/ business, his long-term work goals - all this says a lot about a guy. You can gauge a lot about him from how he talks about his dreams and goals, and his sense of responsibility.
5. ‘What do you look for in a potential life partner?’
After the warm-up questions, comes the million-dollar question - what the guy expects from his life partner. His answer to this one will give you a fair idea of what his thinking is like and whether you fit the bill or even want to fit the bill at all. Hence making the decision to take this association any further will be much easier for you once you have the answer to this one.
6. ‘Is there anything that you just won’t tolerate about your partner - some essential haves or have nots?’
Each individual has certain hard limits with respect to the person he or she wishes to marry. For example, maybe he just can’t be with a girl who may at some point, ask him to live away from his parents. To know of these hard limits and get them out of the way before you take the next step will be a wise move.
7. ‘Why are you looking to get married?’
This is an important question and will help you figure out the real reason why the guy is looking to get married. If he is looking for a companion to share his life with, or because his parents are pressuring him to go through this process, or because all his friends have tied the knot and now he is looking to do the same. Before saying yes to a man for marriage, it is essential for the girl to know that he wants to marry her or marry at all, for the right reasons.
8. ‘What is your family like? What sort of expectations do they have of their daughter-in-law?’
Your post-marriage home could be one that you share not just with your husband but also his parents and siblings. Therefore, it’s important to be aware of the guy’s family’s expectations of you. Little things like how progressive or orthodox a mindset they have, make a big difference. This will say a lot about the family’s overall outlook towards a woman’s position in the family and may vary starkly from your own upbringing, creating serious post-marital stress. Be clear on this one well in advance, ladies.
9. ‘I’m an ambitious girl, and I would like to continue working after marriage. Would you and your family be encouraging about the same?’
Having a husband and family who don’t encourage your ambitious nature is a sure shot deal breaker. So why not ask this question during the first meeting itself and set things straight?!
10. ‘Here are my own hard limits. Are you good with that?’
Can’t marry a guy who doesn’t share the same love for travel? Or say you are a highly social person and one who loves a fun night out, but the guy doesn’t have the same idea about fun - we aren’t discounting the fact that compromise to a certain degree will have to be made, but if there are certain things you JUST aren’t okay about, make that clear in the very beginning and ask if that’s something he’s willing to work around. Smart move, isn’t it?
Published on Nov 17, 2016