10 Relationship Tips For The Girl Whose Boyfriend Is A Shy Guy!
Smriti NotaniGuest Contributor
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Not all men were created equal – thank God for that, right? Your boyfriend is just not like the rest of them. While you loved his shy personality at first, you may also have trouble dealing with it sometimes. Don’t worry, because as usual, we’ve been there and experienced that. Here are some practical and useful tips that’ll definitely come handy while dealing with an extremely shy boyfriend!
1. Accept, accept...and accept some more!
The first and most important step to dealing with a shy partner is acceptance. So what if he’s a shy person? It’s no big deal. It’s just a personality trait and you need not be embarrassed about it at all.
2. You know what they say: opposites attract.
You need to know that that’s exactly what makes you two tick! You might be an extremely social person who loves to talk and express. If he’s just the opposite of that, it means he completes you. Every talker needs a listener.
3. Those social interactions…
If you find that your boy doesn’t easily mingle with others, it’s because shy people take time to open up. But this doesn’t mean that they never do. Once they get to know (and like) someone, they let their guard down and can have a perfectly nice time with them.
4. You need to ease him in!
Here’s how you can truly help in the situation. If you know that you two are going somewhere where you are likely to bump into a lot of your old friends, don’t spring it upon him. Instead, keep him updated. Inform him about the nature of the event/ party and explain how you know XYZ. That way he’ll be a lot more comfortable when he actually does meet them for the first time.
If you know that your boyfriend hates going out and meeting new people, you don’t need to cut it out completely. But you might want to balance it out with doing stuff he likes too. For instance, if he’s more of a dinner/ movie date types, then throw these kind of date nights into the mix.
6. Have open and honest communication.
While this is standard dating advice for any couple out there, it applies most to you and Mr Shy Guy over here. If he’s shy to a point of being shy even between the two of you, then you may just want to have a talk with him about being more open and expressive at least within the relationship. Fortunately or unfortunately, that’s non-negotiable when it comes to relationships.
7. Help him through it...
As far as we understand, most shy people are aware that they are painfully shy and would like it to be otherwise. So let your guy know that you are here to help him overcome his shyness (if that’s something he would like). If being emotionally and mentally available for him will help him overcome chronic shyness that he’s struggled with for years, then so be it. Right?
8. You’ve got to be patient!
There’s nothing wrong with being shy. It doesn’t make your boyfriend any less cool or loving or amazing. So don’t keep gnawing at his conscience with the fact that he’s really shy. Instead, be patient. If it’s something he wants to change – help him. If it’s something he wasn’t even aware of before he met you, explain it to him. If it’s something he knows about and likes about himself – accept him!
9. Exceptions to the rule...
You can always let your man know that while you are totally at peace with his shy and reserved nature, there are some people you really wish he would make more of an effort with. For example – your bestie or your sister. This way he knows that you’re not trying to change him, you’re just trying to include him in your world.
Our growing years are no cakewalk - we’ve reiterated this over and over again. You need to understand that this is no different for guys. In our expert opinion, shyness can also just be a phase. It takes some boys time to become confident guys who are sure of themselves and are able to handle just about any social situation. So you really don’t need to worry too much. If he’s super shy today, it doesn’t mean he’s going to be just as shy his whole life. You both are young and have a lot of years to grow, mature and blossom. Let nature take its course, and perhaps in a few years you’ll find that this was totally just a phase.