I dated my now husband for 3 years before we decided to tie the knot. Dating gives you that rush... Every time you see him, every time his name flashes on your phone, every time that “love you” message comes before you go off to sleep, every time he holds you, every time he kisses you. Your cheeks go pink, you smile and sometimes you keep your eyes fixed onto nothing while you smile away! And all of us feel that this warm, fuzzy feeling is “love”. Well, why wouldn't we? After all, isn't this what every movie, every book, every poem, every song tells us?
So even I thought I loved him. I felt so much in love that at times it felt too much... Too much of blushing and too much of gushing and too much of rushing. Everything was hunky dory and lovey-dovey, and then we got married!
Marriage brought with it some “surprises”, even if it was a love marriage. There really is a difference between the person whom you meet every day for 2 hours and one with whom you have to suddenly spend all day, every day (and night too). Nights are not all that difficult for the first few months at least (if you know what I mean ;-)). But every other time I’d wonder if this really is the person I’ve known for so long. I felt lost and confused, and SO lonely that I just want to run away from this crazy new life into the arms of my mother. And then came the first big fight, which was a month after the wedding.
I don't remember how this fight started (now you know how trivial the issue was?). This fight was the first time that both of us saw this temperamental side of each other. There was name calling and the typical “Why did I ever marry you, I knew this was not going to work”. By the end of it, it was just tiring - mentally, physically and emotionally. I went to bed crying...thinking why I gave up my comfortable life in my parents’ house and came to stay with this idiot. Was it the sex or was I blind? I didn’t see all this in the 3 years that I’ve know him in the past. And then, as I lay there cursing myself, a hand pulled me (it was his, obviously) and he hugged me tighter than he ever had. The more attempts I made to get out of the grip, the more he held onto me. Finally, I just gave in and cried. I told him everything that was going on in my mind. He heard me out and said that he was sorry, that he would try to be more understanding henceforth, that he will try to make my life easier and beautiful in every way possible. He said he couldn't see me crying and just as he wiped a tear from my cheek, I fell in love with my husband, again!