I met him two years back. It wasn't love at first sight, but the story about how we fell in love with each was better and more interesting. We became friends first and since that day when we got talking and getting to know each other, the similarities between us were rather shocking! Be it the music we listened to, the cuisines we loved to eat or the things we wanted to do in life - everything was really similar! We became really close really soon, and our conversations were never boring!
As Valentine's Day came around, we confessed our feelings to each other and started dating. When we were friends...we talked about love, sex, adventures and work. During one of these conversations, he mentioned to me once that he wouldn't mind if his girlfriend and hopefully, wife-to-be, wasn't a virgin, and also said he hadn’t had ‘it’ with anyone.
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Of course, I was a virgin and didn't really give much thought about what he said back then. I had boyfriends before him but somehow I never did it with any of them. I didn't want to and never felt right about it. I did agree with his thoughts though. No one is a saint and if someone gave up his or her virginity to the one they loved, it was fine. Past should remain in the past. Well, we soon started dating and were moving forward. I had a long vacation from work, so I decided to stay with him.
During our stay, we made out passionately and did everything but sex. We had planned to do it many times and even joked about it, but somehow didn’t do it. I felt that he didn't want to do, but of course, I didn't say anything. Soon, the vacation got over and I came back to my place. After two weeks or so, after I came back, he messaged me that he wanted to talk to me about something. I won’t ever forget that night. He started the conversation saying if I remembered the conversation we had about ‘doing it’ long back.
He said, he wanted to confess something and said he has had sex before and wasn’t a virgin. He had done it with his ex girlfriend. He apologized to me saying he planned to tell me many times before, but couldn’t gather enough courage.
And, this was the reason why he didn't do anything with me, even when he wanted to. I was speechless. Believe me, I was all okay with the thought before, but I didn't know that it took so much courage and a big open minded thought to accept that the guy I loved so much had lost his virginity to his ex.
It stung right in the heart and I didn't know what to say. I, of course told him that past is past, and then ended the call quickly. But, every now and then, when he used to send me kiss smileys or said ‘I love you’, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about the fact that he’s not a virgin. It was eating me up from inside.
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Finally, a week later, I just blurted out that I wasn't fine and I won’t be fine. If I knew it before I actually fell in love with him and if he didn't hide it, I would have probably felt differently. But, after all that time, I just couldn't bear the thought. That's when he finally broke down for the first time ever and told me the reason for hiding it. His ex girlfriend told him that no girl would ever look at him the same way once he tells her that he’s not a virgin anymore...at least not a decent virgin girl. Those were the last parting words from her.
So, he thought he should hide it. But knowing that I had never done it before, he thought he should come clean and find out if I was okay with it or not. I knew his ex was not a particularly nice person. But I didn't realize that she would screw up with his mind by saying such things to him. So much so, that he would refrain from being honest. After hearing his reason, I eventually forgave him. And, we did it the next time we met, without any regrets, and it was really great. I am glad he told me the real reason, because it did fix things for us. And, we have been together since then and are still going strong.
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Published on Oct 22, 2016