Marriage is one of the most significant decisions in one’s life. You commit yourself to one person and spend all your life living with them! No, we’re not trying to scare you away from getting married but how do you know that the person you’re going to marry is ‘the one’. What if you never fall in love with the one you marry? What if you fall for someone else after getting married? What if you stay married knowing that he isn’t ‘the one’ for you? Well, these are some of the questions every girl has at least once in her lifetime.
We found this super interesting thread on Quora where people are sharing their experiences about how to figure out whether the person you’re marrying is the one or not! We might have different definitions of ‘the one’ but, speaking in generalizations, he should be a person you can trust, someone you can rely on more than yourself, someone who loves you and someone you love. We don’t know if there’s actually something like ‘the one’ but we all do like to believe that one day, we’ll find our knight in shining armour who’ll sweep us off our feet. And you know what? There’s actually a way to know whether he’s the one for you or not.
Richard Muller answered a question on Quora and what he said seemed legit to us.
“I recommend the backpack test.”
And we were all like, backpack test? What’s that?
He further explained:
“The basic idea is this - For a marriage to last, the partners need to recognize that there will be periods of intense stress, non-romantic moments (often lasting days or longer) when life gets tough. It could be illness, or lack of money, or just something serious going wrong. Maybe a flat tire. Maybe you arrive at midnight at the cabin you rented and you discover the key doesn’t work. How will you and your partner-to-be handle it? Will you work well together? Will your love continue despite the stress?...
“Take a week-long backpack trip together. But—and this is the key—it always has moments of stress. It may suddenly rain, and you get unexpectedly wet. Maybe it will be cold in the morning, and you (or your partner) will not want to get up to fetch and heat water. Maybe one of you will develop a blister. Maybe you will get lost. Maybe one or both of you will get very tired, and grumpy...
“Before you get married, you want to experience stress together, ideally over an extended time. A few days is minimal; a week is better; a two week trip is probably more than enough...
“It doesn’t count to go on a romantic vacation, staying at hotels that take care of all your needs. A day trip isn’t good enough. You’ve got to experience extended stress; even better if the stress is unexpected. My bride to be and I went on several backpacking trips before and during marriage. Perhaps the most dramatic one was a two-week trip that had rain, snow, terrible blisters, discomfort, bears, and all sorts of stress. We came back from that trip loving each other much more than we had imagined possible.”
Well, this was some good advice and we absolutely loved it. It is practical and almost a perfect way to know whether he is the right one for you or not.
You can find the full thread on Quora here.
So guys, before you decide to marry someone, go backpacking! If nothing else, you’ll at least get a life-changing experience out of it.
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Published on Oct 25, 2016