My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. And as anyone in a long distance relationship knows - things can get pretty boring every now and then. There are only so many times in the day that one can say, “And... What’s up?”. Yes, we do make time for one another. We have our catch-up sessions on Skype and keep in touch during the day over the phone and stuff like that but sometimes, it just feels as though the intimacy is missing. I’m really not into the whole “Skype sex” routine, but I wanted to do something that would be fun for both of us. So, one night we decided to do something a little different and intentionally stayed home on a Friday night so that we could spend some time together that didn't feel like it was just being "slotted in".
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Since I had quite a busy work schedule at the time, he took it upon himself to plan our evening-in together. And that's how we ended up playing 20 questions that evening! For those of you who haven’t played this game, 20 questions is a game in which you think of a well known or familiar, object, personality, movie and the like, and your partner can ask you 20 yes or no questions in order to guess what was that you thought of. However, we tweaked and personalized the game a little,l in a way that it helped us get to know each other, better.
He had gone online and looked up things couples in LDRs could do to make things more interesting and this had been a suggestion on one of the forums that he had came across. It was sweet - he had definitely put effort into the evening.
At first the game seemed a bit engineered, but the more we got into it and didn’t just stick to a yes or no question and answer format, the more we both ended up enjoying it and having a laugh! 20 questions ended up being 30 and then 40 questions! The more we learned about one another the more we wanted to know. There were some questions that I knew the answers to already, like "What was the name of your first pet?" or “What school did you go to?” and other questions that made me wonder why we didn't know these things about one another already. We asked questions about our childhood, first love, first heartbreak, losing loved ones and so on.
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It genuinely helped us connect and indulge in a form of intimacy that had been lacking in our relationship, due to the distance! The questions were in a chronological format, so the further along we went, the closer we got to present day and then went on to talk about the future. I gushed when he answered questions like, "When did you first realize you were in love with me?", and cringed at moments he remembered when answering, "What's your funniest memory of me?". Of course there were also a few naughty questions that made me blush (and love how exciting this game can be)!
We entered the "future" portion of the game and along the way I found out how many kids he wants, where he sees himself in five years and what he thinks his house might look like. I also found out that he sees me in all those hopes and dreams! It gave me a silent and assured sense of security. The best part was that he was volunteering the information straight from his heart - he wanted me to know these things. In real life, I could never get anything more than a silent nod towards the prospect of our future but this game allowed for all barriers between us to be broken down and for communication to just flow! It really ended up being the perfect night in for the both of us and I think I might even let him plan the next date night as well!
Published on Sep 11, 2016