Getting married to someone is sure as hell a tough decision. You have to be both mentally and physically ready if you want to get married. And especially if it’s an arranged marriage, you have to think a lot before taking the leap of faith. But, have you ever wondered how long couples wait to have sex in arranged marriages? Don’t know about you, but we sure have. Here’s what some people on Quora had to say about it...
1. “We slept on our wedding night, we were too tired to do anything!” - Yeah! Anyone would get tired after all those ceremonies...
Anonymous says… “Ours was an arranged marriage, but we did not wait till our wedding to do what couples do on their special night. I am an average looking guy. Since it was the right time to get married (according to my parents), my profile was made on one of the matrimonial websites, and the search for a prospective bride began. We visited a few families and at last we met my wife.
She was a sweet looking girl and I like her at first sight. According to the Indian customs, the bride and the groom are given some time to get to know each other. She told me that she had never been in a relationship before. My friends (both guys and girls), had told me to ask her whether she was a virgin or not. And even I wanted to know that (I am not against premarital sex. I just wanted to know because I was a virgin and I was confused about our first night). But I didn’t ask her.
Our wedding was was soon fixed. There is a rule that the bride and the groom can’t meet each other before marriage, but we didn’t adhere to that. We went on a couple of dates. I met her friends and she met mine.
One day, I was at her flat and even her roommate was there. We were just have a good time chatting with each other when her friend said that she needed to go out and get some groceries. When she left, we were all alone in her flat and there was nothing but pin-drop silence. We had been on a couple of dates before, but we were never in such the same situation. To break the ice, she started talking about something. After a few minutes, we were quiet again. She came close to me and kissed me on my cheek. I was awestruck. I was unable to fathom what just happened. Then she asked me to kiss her back. I kissed her back on her cheek. Then she came closer and hugged me tightly, I also held her tightly in my arms. By then, I was really turned on and she realized it too. And we did it. It was the first time for both of us, and it felt really good.
We got married soon, and we were really comfortable with each other on our wedding night. We didn’t do it that night, we were too tired to do anything, so we just slept. Now we have two beautiful daughters. :D”
2. “I think it depends on the couple…” - Hmm… That’s true!!
Aniket Kadam says… “I haven’t been married, but I have friends who are married (both love marriages and arranged ones). I am too young to get married. Anyway, I haven’t directly asked my friends about when couples get intimate after their marriage, but some of them tend to talk about this often. Some of them don’t get intimate for months, they prefer to get to know each other and then slowly progress towards physical action. Whereas some of them do it on day one.
So, to conclude, I think it depends on the couple.”
Also read: 5 People Share What Made Them Say *Yes* In An Arranged Marriage
3. “It’s important to gain each other’s trust first!” - Yeah! That is very important!
Arjun says… “It depends on the type of people involved. Some click instantly while others take time to connect. It would be really awkward if they got to business straight away, without even knowing each other properly. The main factor that bonds the couple is “emotional touch”, trust me this is much more important than the “physical touch”.
Personally, I would prefer to go as slow as possible, I would want to get comfortable with her and know her well before doing anything. It’s important to gain each other’s trust first. And building trust is like building a wall or a foundation, it doesn't happen overnight. You have to be patient.”
4. “Getting intimate has nothing to do with arranged or love marriage!” - Okay! Tell us more about it...
Ishteaque Khan says… “That totally depends upon their mood and their compatibility with each other. I have a friend who has recently been married, it was an arranged marriage. When I asked him, he told me that he had sex on the very first night. They both wanted to do it at that moment, so it happened.
However, some people take time to get intimate with each other while some don’t. Getting intimate has nothing to do with arranged or love marriage according to me, it just depends upon the couple’s choice and whether they are aroused or not.”
Also read: Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage: Which Is Better?!
5. “Actually it depends on different factors…” - Yeah! It does.
Ravi IN says… “There isn’t a standard answer to this, it all depends on different factors like family background, tradition, customs that families follow and the initial eagerness, shyness and fear existing between the couples.
To sum it up, it can happen on the first night of marriage and in some cases it make take up to several weeks to kickstart the intimacy. I am answering this based on my own experience.”
Read the full thread here on Quora.
Okay, we have to say this - these were some VERY interesting answers!
Published on Sep 25, 2016