For many of us, our love lives have been a slew of relationships! We break up with someone, fall in love with another and only then realize it’s not what we thought it would be. Ladies, we know the charm of a cute guy and the lure of romance - but we can’t really let these run or rule our lives, can we? So if you like that guy, and are thinking about getting into a new relationship, ask yourself these 10 questions first - and please be honest with the answers, okay?
1. Do I really like him, or even know him well enough?
You may have gone out with him a couple of times, and loved spending time with him (maybe secretly even craved for more), but that doesn’t really count as “knowing” a person. Before you decide to get into a relationship with him, get to know him well, and be certain whether you like him as a friend or more!
2. Do I feel lonely and like him only for the attention he gives me?
Many a times, we just miss the company of someone we can make plans and spend the weekend with, watch with movies and have some fun, you know - and anyone who promises us just that, we mistake it for love. Girls - if you’re looking for companionship and not a companion - don’t get into a relationship just yet. All you need is a friend, not a boyfriend.
3. Do I just miss being in a relationship?
When you’re single, every couple on the street will remind you of your own romantic and intimate moments of past relationships. But never should you let these memories fool you into getting into a relationship only for the sake of re-living them with someone else. Instead, wait for someone with whom you can create memories that last a lifetime.
4. Am I ready to commit my time and energy to this new relationship?
Your relationship should never, ever feel like a burden to you. If your partner’s calls or texts or his worries or plans to meet up feel like irritants that you’d gladly give up for something else, maybe you aren’t ready to be in a relationship right now.
5. Does he make me a better person?
When we spend a lot of our time with someone, we often unknowingly copy their habits, think their thoughts and become day by day like them. If you have trouble accepting his flaws and would never want to turn into the person he is - maybe you should just stay friends with him for the moment, a relationship may not be the best idea.
6. Am I really over my ex? Or is this a rebound?
Rebounds never help. Yes, they don’t. Never get involved with someone new to get over the old, ‘coz it’s a never-ending vicious trap that’s too hard to get free from. Instead fall in love with yourself again, and you’ll find you’ll never need a rebound again.
7. What am I looking for in a partner? Am I getting it?
We may not accept it, but we all have mental checklists - little habits, traits, qualities that we would love our partner to embody. And there’s nothing wrong with that either. So make sure the guy meets at least a few of your criteria already, and you’re not getting into a relationship hoping that you’re going to “change” him into what you expect.
8. How serious do I want to be?
Decide whether you just want to have a little fun with him, or plan your entire future together - and ensure that he is on the same page with you - before getting into a relationship.
9. Am I really myself around him?
A lot of times, when we want someone to really like us, we don our best-dressed, most-funny selves around them. But if even after being with the person you like for quite some time you feel the need to hide your true hopes, fears, joys from him - and even your natural personality - then he is only in love with a side of you, and may or may not be able to accept your real self in the long run.
10. Will he push me towards my goals and not away from them?
You need to be with a guy who believes in you and in your capabilities to make your dreams come true. Of course he should also be able to talk you out of walking down the wrong path, but only because he believes you can do better - never settle for a guy who treats your dreams and ambitions as irrelevant or secondary to his own.