The big fat desi wedding is infamous for the scale, size, chaos, and madness. But who really makes a wedding what it is? The people – duh! No Indian function would ever be complete without cousins, right? Here are the different types you’ll find at every wedding - we are kinda almost totally certain!
1. The Protective Bhaiya
Oh, where would be without the bodyguard of the family? He makes sure you’re at a safe distance from all the drunk dudes at the sangeet. And owing to his protective nature, you too can freak out without worrying about a thing!
2. The Oh-So-Stylish Didi
Sorry, bride, you may just be outshone by this cousin sister who is impeccably dressed and looks stunning all the time. All eyes are on her, and she knows that. Also, she’s the self appointed judge of everyone’s style quotient – it’s like having an in-house fashionista!
3. The Awkward Tween
Poor kid still has his braces on, is probably in school and is so disinterested in this wedding that it’s actually quite hilarious. You’ll spot the poor boy either running errands or drinking Pepsi in one corner.
This young, hot and happening cousin sure knows how to turn a staid affair into a full blown party. And, yes, the DJ has been bribed to play Sukhbir when he enters. If he’s not on the dance floor dancing up a storm, he’s probably busy getting all the adults of the family good and drunk. God bless this one!
5. Bollywood Queen
In case her blinged out lehenga didn’t give it away, this cousin sister is the Bollywood belle at this desi ball of a wedding. You’ll find her on the dance floor sashaying to Radha from Student Of The Year, matching Alia step for step, right down to the come-hither looks.
6. The Cute Jiju
We all have that adorable jiju, the one who kind of gives us Husband Goals. Of course it’s totally inappropriate to call him cute, so you act super subtle. You just watch him dance and have a good time, all the while secretly wishing you find someone just as cute someday!
7. The Anti-Shaadi One
We all have that one cousin who isn’t into all this “wedding stuff” – whatever that means. They just don’t see the point of dressing up and socializing and dancing and having fun together. Ah well, to each his own we guess!
This poor cousin has too much on his plate in terms of responsibilities and is always running from pillar to post fulfilling some super important “duty”. You just wish the dude would catch a break and chill for once!
9. The reporter
Ugh! This little brat of a cousin is the one who rats out what the cousin gang is doing to all the elders at the shaadi. Yep, your family isn’t the only one who has one of these!