We met through a matrimonial site, and after being in touch for a few weeks we decided to take it forward and informed our parents. Our families met and after a year we decided to get engaged. Yayy! I was so excited that my very first relationship had worked as I had always dreamt of getting married and having a happy family of my own. It felt like ours was a match made in heaven.
Rajiv had to travel a lot for his work, so whenever he was in India we made sure we spent as much as time together as possible. He lived in a city nearby, so I would often travel to his place; I would take days off from work to do this. After knowing each other for eight months we got physically intimate. I lost my virginity to him and I was glad that it happened with someone I was going to get married to.
The drama in my life started some seven months after our engagement. Jealousy and possessiveness are things that most girls have to deal with, but Rajiv was one step ahead. He started putting restrictions on me. I was told to wear only salwars kameez. Having been a tomboy all my life, I just had two pairs then. I got a couple of more stitched. But his demands just didn’t stop… he told me not to go for lunches with my colleagues, to stop talking to guys. I would often host events at my office, he didn’t like that and told me to stop. The list was endless...
My parents had started noticing the changes in me; all those restrictions from Rajiv had left me a rather unhappy person. They asked me what was wrong and I poured my heart out to them. They were furious and told me to break up with Rajiv. Their support gave me the courage to take the step I should have taken when he started bullying me.
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I found out more shocking things about him; he had told me that I was his first girlfriend but it turns out he had a six-year long relationship with another girl. In fact, he had gotten her pregnant and she had to go for an abortion. The more I found out about his past the more I started getting into depression; it was too much for me to take. I had believed in him and had even made future plans with him… it took me four months to come to terms with what had happened. I even consulted a psychologist, who also suggested that I get out of this relationship. She helped me a lot in getting out of this mess.
When I broke up with him he started threatening me. I knew that my life would be hell if I didn’t take a stand against him. I just blocked his number and removed him from all my social networking sites. But he called my dad and made allegations about my character. My parents knew exactly what had happened, so my dad told Rajiv, "One more call to my daughter or anyone related to her, I will send you behind the bars". My family was the biggest pillar of strength during those tough days; they didn’t bother about the whole “what will people say.”
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After two months, I came to know that Rajiv was engaged to another girl. That was quick! I got concerned about the girl, I didn’t want any girl to spend her life with such a horrible person. I somehow managed to get the girl’s contact number and spoke to her. She was very happy with him and he had told her that she was his first girlfriend. What the F**k! I just couldn’t let the girl’s life get ruined, and told everything that had happened to me. She was not ready to believe me as she was totally in love with that fraud. Instead, she accused me of trying to ruin her relationship.
My family told me to not talk to her again; they wanted me to stay away from Rajiv. All my effort was in vain, their wedding date has been fixed. I know I couldn’t save that girl but at least I tried my best. I just hope she sees his true side before it is too late for her.
* Names changed to protect privacy.
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Published on Aug 17, 2016