When my boyfriend and I had started dating, we decided that we were going to wait for a while before going all the way. Both of us, and especially I, wanted our first time to be something really romantic and special.
One day, while his parents were out of town, he invited me over to his place for dinner. I was excited, a little scared about spending the night with him but excited nonetheless. However, neither of us had really talked about having sex that night. All we planned was a nice dinner, movie and cuddling together on the bed. I got to his place in the evening and when he took me to the bedroom, I saw a packet on the bed.
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“What is this?” I smiled and went to pick it up.
“It’s for you,” he said. I opened it up and saw a black dress inside.
“Wow!” I exclaimed. “You went and bought this for me? Impressive!” I said, he laughed and came over to hug me.
“Wear it for dinner tonight!” he whispered in my ear.
“Are we going out?” I asked.
“Yup, out of this bedroom and into the dining room!” he laughed again and slowly backed out of the room, leaving me to change.
To say I was super happy would be an understatement! Hurriedly I got dressed and walked out to the dining room…to a candle lit table, two plates set up and a flower vase with REAL flowers in the center. By now, I was ecstatic! He was a proper gentleman all through the dinner, offering to pour more cold-drink in my glass every time it started to get over, pulled out the chair for me and served me food.
By the time we were done and went back to the bedroom, I was really thrilled so when we started kissing and he started undressing me, I did not stop him. In fact, I figured that this might be the right moment! And then…
When we finally reached the bed and it came time for the main act, everything went wrong! Somehow, we just couldn’t find the correct position, kept moving from one place to another and one time, my head hit the bed’s headboard so hard that I howled in pain. He was sweet about it, asking me if I needed any help but by that time, I was simply irritated. All the excitement from before was starting to fizzle out. He, however, seemed to be enjoying so I didn’t stop him but I truly stopped getting any kind of pleasure from it. But wait, things got even worse… In the middle of having sex, I realized we hadn’t used protection! Things had been so unplanned and impromptu that I had completely forgotten about it! Now I started to get a panic attack but I didn’t know how to say it out aloud. How should I say it? How do I stop him? Will I offend him? All these questions whirred in my head as my not-in-the-moment mind was now on another tangent altogether!
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“Wait..” I panted out, “…um, I think I am done” I finally said.
“Really? Are you sure?” he asked.
“Yes, yes, I really can’t go on.” I murmured and turned my face the other way.
Of course he could say nothing and just laid down next to me. I felt extremely guilty and the next day was even more awkward! Imagine trying to have a happy breakfast after a disastrous night like that!
My first time was so bad that I not just regret it but it also put me off sex for a while! Every time someone talked about how great their first experience was I just felt sad and wished that I had waited a little longer, maybe planned it a little more. Maybe that way it would have been a little more memorable…
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