For a woman, joining her husband’s family can be quite an intimidating task. It’s like starting from scratch. Everything - from new lifestyle and manners, to new rules and understanding people’s attitudes - can be quite overwhelming. In times like these, she needs her husband’s support the most. Here are a few things that you must ask your hubby to help you with, to make this transition a smooth affair.
1. Setting expectations right
This is important. Mr Husband must help set the right expectations for everyone in his family, including his wife’s. He must understand what your and his family’s strengths and weaknesses are, and set the bar accordingly. He has known you well enough before marriage as well, and should be able to take a call based on that.
Let him know that you will need his support and probably a lot of hand-holding in the beginning at least, so that things are easier. Take baby steps, ladies.
3. Share the load
Let him not make adjustment more difficult for you than it already is. Explain to him that it would help if he contributed to domestic chores, and make sure no one in the family is making a huge hue-and-cry about it. Laundry, folding blankets and sheets, and getting groceries are simple tasks that men can take the onus for, right?
Some of the new family rules may be too extreme for the new one in the family – for instance, the vast difference in meal timings or different cooking patterns, among others. The hubby must come up with a middle path, so that it’s simpler for you, and the family too. Adjustments will have to be made, there’s no doubt about that, but situations can be moderated slightly with the hubby’s help.
5. Plan some alone time
Being constantly in the family radar can get a little too much for you both. Ask your husband to make plans that involve just the two of you - like an office family picnic or party or a colleague’s birthday. You could even make up an excuse and head out for some couple time, we say! ;)
6. Some vent space
Sometimes, living with a large family and being in the middle of everything all the time can get a bit too much to handle. Vent to your hubby and ask him not to take anything you say personally. We all have those moments, don’t we?
7. A little tolerance
Request your dear hubby to be a bit more easygoing in general, especially if he anyway isn’t a very patient person. Now is the time he needs to be extra cautious - new relationships are fragile and need to be built with patience and care!
8. No selfishness please!
Often, it can be too easy to ignore the needs of the new wife when the family is big. While you are being all selfless and making adjustments, make sure your husband realizes that and pays attention to you and your needs as well. :P
There could be times when the family will not approve of some ideas or ventures of the bahu. In times like these, make your husband understand your point of view so he can stand by you. After all, he is you pillar of support.
10. Talk often
Romance needs grounds of communication to flourish. Make sure you both have enough time to talk to each other and bond.