A virgin on your wedding night? That’s some real pressure. And the many relatives nudging and hinting at your about-to-be sex life isn’t helping, either, we’re sure. But don’t you worry for we are here to help you. We answer the 7 questions most virgins have about their wedding night...
1. I know it’s called the “suhaag raat” for a reason, but is it absolutely compulsory to have sex on my wedding night?
No, it’s not. In fact, a LOT of couples don’t have sex on their first night together because they are just so tired from the week-long celebrations, and hardly have any energy left to do anything but sleep. Also, since this is your first time, do not have sex out of compulsion or because of some tradition. Do it when you feel comfortable, wedding night or a month after it.
2. I know he is my husband, but what if I feel conscious about my body?
Okay, remember that you are beautiful, just the way you are, in the same exact shape, colour, height you are. Apart from this, all the pre-wedding parlour visits and lingerie shopping will take care of how you’re looking - be assured, they will help you look and feel just awesome. And then, like you said, remember he is the man you love and are going to spend the rest of your life with - and just enjoy the moment. Talk to him if you feel conscious - you do not have to go all the way on your wedding night. Over time, you won’t feel so shy.
3. Does it hurt so much that I may have trouble the next day?
Um, yes and no. It different from person to person, really. But when you have sex for the first time - it might be a good idea to have it in a hotel room away from your relatives, so that it doesn’t become awkward for you or your in-laws. A little soreness afterwards is normal, but if it hurts during sex, then ask your husband to stop and continue a little later if you feel like it. If it hurts unbearably, you must consult with your gynae. She will recommend lubes and other pills that will make your experience better.
4. What if I squeal - with all those guests and my in-laws at my home?
For your sake, we hope they are just as tired as you, and are long asleep while you’re, um, having fun in your bedroom. But like we said before, it’s a better idea to have sex for the first time away from home - because you don’t even know what reactions this experience will beget you.
5. What if I bleed on the bedsheet?
First of all, not every virgin bleeds. So do not go about expecting to see a few drops of blood, ’coz your hymen may already be broken. But if you do bleed - just wash yourself with a warm towel, and then clean your bedsheet. There is nothing to feel embarrassed about, really.
One common mistake that a lot of married couples make is that they feel they don’t have to use a condom. Please remember condoms do not just prevent pregnancy but also save one from STDs, and is a safer option than popping pills. However, if you two do not want to use it, you must consult your gynae beforehand about going on proper birth control pills instead of taking random emergency contraceptives.
7. What if it’s not fun the first time?
It may or may not be. Be prepared for that. Like all things that happen the first time, this one may not be fun either. In fact, here’s the secret about sex - it gets better with practice. You two will get to know what you like too, and then you’ll have a blast. So don’t worry too much about it - talk to your partner, and make sure you have fun.