The First Time I Hung Out With My Boyfriend... And My Ex!
Karan and I had started dating all the way back in 9th grade. We had been friends since class 7 and then soon our classroom crushes on each other led to us being each other’s boyfriend and girlfriend. It was all very exciting - like it is in school to get into your very first relationship! We adored each other and continued to date until the very end of school. Then it was time to go to college, and although we both never really broke up, given that we would both be on different continents, we kind of knew that it would be difficult for us to be together. I was going abroad and he was going to stay back in India. And while we still really wanted to be with each other, we knew that we would probably sometime meet someone in college who’d catch our fancy! Now that I think about it, we were pretty mature for a couple of 18 year olds, huh?
So anyway, college started, and we both got pretty busy in our lives. We never lost touch though. We spoke to each other or skyped at least once a week to just catch up. But we weren’t saying that we were in a relationship anymore. And just like we had thought, our relationship did fade away with time - well, the romantic one. But what flourished was a friendship like no other. With time, he became the person I could share everything with - even my guy problems! And he could do the same with me. Sure, it was slightly awkward at first, given that we had been together for so long, but with time, that didn’t matter either. We had become even closer than before - and nothing would come in the way of our friendship. Soon our feelings for each other, which were of romantic love, turned into a different kind of love - the platonic kind.
Neither Karan nor I, however, dated anyone for the first two years of college - and then one day, I met Viren. He was a friend of a friend, and although we went to the same college, I had never met him until now! We clicked instantly, and there was the kind of chemistry between us that you read about in books. We started hanging out and spending a lot of time with each other - and a few months later, he asked me out and I said yes!
College ended soon after, but Viren and I continued to be together. We were both going back to India anyway, and were going to be in the same city. Plus, we were madly in love with each other, so it all made sense!
I had of course, told Karan about Viren when we started dating. And although he didn’t seem too happy, he was supportive anyway. Viren knew about my best friend Karan too - and was rather keen on meeting him when we got back! I know there was nothing to worry about, everyone knew everything and we were all (semi) grown ups - but I was so scared and nervous! Karan might have been a friend now, but he and I had also been in a relationship for 4 years! I didn’t know how either of them were going to react to each other, or what the conversation would be like. But anyway, I decided that since I couldn’t possibly keep them both apart forever if I wanted them both in my life, it would be best if I just made them meet and get it over with!
And so after a month or so of being back in New Delhi, we made a plan to go out together. We were going to meet for dinner at 9pm. And around 8:30pm I could swear that I was going to get a panic attack! But anyway, I had no choice now, I had to go. So I did. Viren picked me up and we went to where we were supposed to meet Karan. I hadn’t even met him since I got back - and it was so strange to see him again. In a nice way of course. He was as sweet and warm as ever, and met Viren just like he met me - with a warm, tight hug. Viren was equally nice and the two of them instantly started chatting and almost catching up like old buddies. There was absolutely no tension between the two. Perhaps it was one of those situations where, I realized, that guys can be, in a way, much more chilled out about these things. Slowly I started to calm down too and thoroughly enjoyed the evening with two people I loved so much.
I realized that day that life can be so simple if we want it to be. Situations are only as complicated as we make them. Both Viren and Karan are such genuine and positive people, and I get to learn so much from them everyday. Above everything, they’re so secure with who they are as people and so confident about their relationships, that they never feel the need to feel insecure about anything or anyone - and especially me. This is one thing I have definitely learnt from them and try to imbibe in my own life.
Karan and Viren are great friends today - and the three, no wait, four of us (Karan started dating someone too!) hang out almost every weekend. I am so lucky to have these two guys in my life - one as my best friend, and one my fiance (yes, Viren proposed - and I said yes!).