Karan and I had been dating for four years when a few months ago he popped the question. Obviously, I said yes. Both of us knew what kind of a wedding we wanted and both of us wanted a part in planning each and every ceremony. Mine and Karan’s parents sat down together when it came to the guest list. I had already told Karan and my parents that I wanted a small wedding, with just our close family, friends and a few colleagues from work. Karan had agreed and even my parents supported me. It took us some time to convince Karan’s parents but, in the end, all of us were on the same page.
I always knew that I wanted an intimate wedding where all of us could enjoy ourselves. I didn’t want to stand on a grand stage, clicking pictures with relatives I’d never seen before in my life. I’ve been to so many weddings where I didn’t even know the bride or the groom and had to go on the stage and smile as if they were my best friends.
Instead, I wanted to celebrate the most important day of my life with my loved ones, with the people I cared about and who cared about me. I wanted to have incredible photo shoots with my friends and my family, the kinds I had seen on the television and read about. And Karan understood that. Obviously I told him he could invite anybody, it was HIS wedding too, but he wanted the same.
While preparing the guest list, we had a hard time deciding where to draw the line. For example, I was close to an aunt and wanted to invite her but she was close to another aunt of mine whom I had met only once! The news of my marriage spread like wildfire in my extended family. My parents started getting calls from their cousins who taunted them in a very subtle manner.
As the ceremonies began, one of my aunts cornered my mother and talked to her regarding my decision. She asked my mother to invite other cousins as well. But my mother stood her ground and told her that it was too late now and, also, it was my wedding. The ceremonies continued and I could see my mother getting stressed now and then. But by the time my wedding day arrived, she forgot all about it. She didn’t care what the rest of her family would say to her.
It’s been almost a year since I got married and I would be lying if I said it has been easy for my parents. Because it wasn’t. My mother was boycotted by her side of the family and it was only after innumerable apologies that my aunts were ready to talk to her again. I didn’t like the fact that my mother had to apologise to them. Somewhere I feel they still hold a grudge against my mother and do not miss any chance to taunt her.
I just don’t get the obsession over inviting neighbors and extended family members to your wedding and going overboard with everything in general. Is it that bad for the bride and groom to actually have a say in their own wedding planning? After all, it’s THEIR day, they do deserve an opinion.