The Shy Girl’s Guide To Telling Him She Wants To *Experiment*!
Senior Lifestyle Writer
If you are one of the many women struggling to find the right words when it comes to talking about sex and sexual fantasies with your partner, then we got one word for you - RELAX. Seriously, take a deep breath and read on because we have the ultimate guide that will help you to communicate your sexual desires to your partner confidently and comfortably.
1. Get comfy with your fantasies
First and foremost, you have to get comfortable with your own fantasies. Don’t overanalyze them or think of them as a big deal. It is not just normal, but also healthy for you to have a wild imagination. So just accept the truth yourself and that will make it easier to explain it to others.
2. Talk in third person experiences
If you don’t want to go right out and tell your partner that you like things this way or that way, then talk as if they are someone else’s experiences. Try “My friend tried this…” or “My friend likes the idea of…” This way you will be able to test waters before you dive in and see whether your partner’s response is positive or negative.
3. Buy/ lend them movies or books
If you read about some sexual fantasy that you’d like to try or have seen one in a movie, then lend it or buy it for your partner. Tell him how much you loved it and once he’s done with it, talk to him about whether they liked it or not. This will help get the conversation started and you can take it forward from there.
Sexting always helps to spice things up and it is sometimes easier to type things out than say them in person. Create a hot fantasy for him and see if he is into it. If he seems as excited as you, then suggest to try it out the next time you two meet!
5. Pick the right time
Know that discussing your sexual fantasy while your partner is at work or busy with something else will not get you the attention you want. You’ll probably just get a hurried reply and your partner will not be able to understand the importance of the talk. Talk about it while the two of you are cosy in bed or spending a weekend at home, when you can get their full attention and time.
If you have finally had the talk and the two of you have decided to try something, make sure the first time is something simple. While in your head you might be thinking crazy wild dragons and dungeons stuff, you’ll probably want to save them for later. Start with the simple “strangers meeting at the bar” or “sexy dress up” and take it up a notch slowly and steadily.
7. Don’t push it
You tried something simple, but it didn’t work out as well as you hoped for, or it’s taking longer than you expected and you are starting to get impatient again? Well, it’s time to let it go for a while. It will take time for both you and your partner to really get comfortable with trying out new things, and that’s fine. Try again after a while with a fresh mind and fresher ideas! *wink wink*