I could start off by complimenting your rugged looks complete with that sexy beard. You are so tall you could honestly pass off as a giant, but you’re the type who stands out in a crowd even without the advantage that your height has blessed you with. When you nurse that drink like a gentleman, it reminds me of my father and I don’t have to second guess why I ever fell for you. Falling for you was so easy and it was the most wonderful fall ever. After all these years together, you still make me blush, you still make me feel like we’ve met for the first time. I could sing a million praises about you, but I won’t, because you already know these things. You’ve heard them several times, on several occasions (especially after I’ve done something stupid to piss you off). Instead, today we will talk about your flaws and we will acknowledge them, one flaw at a time.
Do you know who, or rather, what you are? You are a potato. Everyone loves a potato. A potato gels with everything and a potato looks adorable - brown, irregular, round and yellow and just sitting there in all its deliciousness. A potato never boasts, a potato is always humble and a potato knows its roots (wink). All of these qualities make a potato glorious. Like a potato, you are everyone’s favourite. But I hope you never forget that you are MY POTATO and I’m keeping you for the rest of my life.
I could tell you that you look like a Greek God in the mornings when you are just waking up, when your world is disoriented and you don’t know where you are. But I won’t, because you look so much better with that spittle slowly finding its way onto your pillow. I want to ruffle that head of messy hair and kiss your forehead and tell you that in all your morning grandeur you look like you were sent for me, to make my life whole. Move over greek gods, because my potato is a sight to behold.
You remember that day when I stared at your slightly crooked nose and you thought I was trying to make fun of you? I know it was a football injury because you told me that ages ago, I remember. I wasn’t silently mocking you. You failed to realize that I only stared at you because your nose had a story behind it, one that held immense character. I stared at you because I couldn’t believe how I got so lucky. You could have fallen for anyone else but you fell for me and for that I will be forever grateful.
You are far from being a romantic and you’ve never, ever bought me flowers. You have taught me that things like that shouldn’t matter. Being with you has taught me that no matter how goofy you are, you are still a person of great value who would pick simple, everyday actions over promising me the moon.
There are a lot of things I am yet to cover, my potato, but for now I want you to know that you are flawless. You are perfect. All of you, every inch of you, is perfect. Never change.