8 Reasons Your Breakup Was The *Right* Decision For You
Nasrin Modak SiddiqiGuest Contributor
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We all think in images and most of them are memories from our past. We're often stuck with thoughts, wondering what went wrong with the guy with whom you thought you would spend the rest of your life. In hindsight, it was for the best that it didn't work out, because he might have been great...but not for you. While he may have been a super awesome guy with Ryan Gosling's eyes and Simon Pegg’s wit, the two of you may not have been compatible. Compatibility is more than just liking the same books and movies or having the same hobbies. It’s about accepting each other's flaws and shortcomings, since there is no such thing as perfection anyway. If you broke up with "the" guy for one of these reasons, then it's seriously and totally okay to move on!
1. There was baggage
Happens. You may not have felt it, and maybe his last relationship ended amicably. However, deep within, he may still have been carrying some of its baggage, which may have caused trouble in the functioning of your relationship. It’s the same if you were the one carrying the load.
2. Love was blind
There was no future and you knew that from the beginning. But both of you went storming into the relationship without worrying about the repercussions. Once the phase of impressing each other and the initial attraction faded away, the fallout was inevitable.
3. There was no trust
Although you both wanted to be honest with each other, the underlying trust was missing. True love is based on a solid foundation of trust and if trust doesn't exist, your relationship doesn't stand a chance.
Most couples often confuse the two. It is important to understand that for a long-lasting relationship, it is important to be intimate and not just all over each other, all the time. Without intimacy, it is very easy for a relationship to fail.
5. There was no understanding
More often than not people assume that their partners have to understand their choices. But they forget that communication is the key to a healthy relationship, and sometimes you need to make your partner see things from your point of view rather than assuming they automatically will.
A good relationship survives on empathy and respect for each other. If you felt that your needs and emotions were constantly being neglected, then you should feel happy that the relationship ended.
7. He expected perfection
If you’ve ever found yourself with someone who basically marked your cards as soon as conflict arose in the relationship, then they were under the delusion that relationships that are "right" don’t have any conflict. They may also have had unrealistic expectations and believed that soulmates and "right" people are people who say, do, think, and act as they expect - 24/7, 365 days of the year. Of course, when one doesn’t, they feel it's time to opt out of the relationship.
8. There is too much expectation
Holding him responsible for your happiness was one of the most foolish things you could have done. Even the love of your life can't be the sole bearer of your happiness. You have to find a balance in your life. And the same goes for him!
Understanding the reason some relationships might fail is not to make you feel miserable, it’s to open your eyes. Relationships need two committed parties with both their feet in. It takes two to tango. One person cannot do all the work. By understanding why some relationships don’t work, you can understand why some do.