Why Do We Want To Know EVERY Tiny Detail When We're Cheated On?
If you've ever been cheated on, you'll know how it feels. And we don't just mean that you'll understand the pain one suffers but also the slightly morbid curiosity one feels in a situation like this. Is it just the belief that truth will set us free? Or is it not all that deep but just a way of trying to slap oneself with reality? Here's what the people on Quora think about this…
1. To know that your instincts weren't wrong.
Franklin Veaux on Quora: Learning all the details of the cheating is a form of validation. It's a way of knowing “I wasn't going crazy, I wasn't imagining it, and I really can trust my senses and perceptions. I was being manipulated.” It is helpful for a victim of gaslighting to know that.
2. To just finally know the truth - the full truth.
Scottie Claiborne on Quora: Being lied to is being disrespected. Someone who lies to you doesn’t feel like you deserve the truth; you aren’t important enough to them to get an honest answer. Cheating is the ultimate lie. Insisting on the truth in the face of cheating is, while excruciatingly painful, a way of settling up. It brings a little balance back to the person who’s been kept in the dark. You can’t face or accept what you don’t know.
3. To find out what (and who) to avoid in the future.
Srishti Srivastava on Quora: The person cheated, they are aware of it now. It lets the cheated know the reason for it. Just like during a break up the person wants to know why the relationship is ending, the same way they want to know what drove the partner to cheat. It gives them pointers as to what kind of people to avoid.
4. And quite simply, just because.
Basil Fondu on Quora: It may be to get all the cards on the table and make a decision while in possession of the full facts. It may be for closure. It may be because it sexually excites them. It may be for a number of reasons that are the personal business of the person who has been cheated on. This person has already been wronged. There is no need to pile on with criticism about their response to being wronged.
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Published on May 26, 2016