Life is all about the unexpected. You never know what - or who - is right around the corner. And if it happens to be an ex-boyfriend you were not expecting to see, get ready for a whirlpool of thoughts and emotions!
1. “Crap! Did he see me?”
Is there enough time to do an Olympic-worthy jump out of his line of sight or is it too late?
2. “Should I pretend I did not see him?”
Or maybe you should bring out your inner Oscar-winner and act as though you did not register his presence and walk past him nonchalantly.
3. “Do I look good?”
You do a quick rewind in your head to remember if you made an effort to get ready this morning - or did you just put on the first thing you saw?
4. “Do I look better than when we were dating?”
And here's to hoping that you come across as happier and better-looking since the time you broke up - because what's a bit of superficiality between exes? And just because he is an ex does not mean you don't want the satisfaction of him regretting being an ex.
5. “Does he look worse?”
This is not your proudest moment - but you cross your fingers that he has gained a few inches around his belly and has lost that charm that hooked you in the first place.
6. “Who is with him?”
Is he out with a friend, sibling, girlfriend? You quickly scan his behaviour and that of his companion with a mental X-ray reader and assess the situation.
7. “Should I say hello or give him the finger?”
Then again, maybe this is the time to make the casual, oh-you-were-not-that-important-anyway speech you have been practising for months. Even better, is this the day your daydream of giving him the middle finger in public actually comes true? So many thoughts, so little time to decide your next course of action...
8. “Nod, handshake or a hug?”
Is a nod too unfamiliar a greeting for an ex who has perhaps seen the birthmark in that inappropriate location? Is a handshake the safe way to go, or would a hug show that there are no hard feelings left and you have truly moved on? Why is there no guidebook for this?
9. “Am I smiling too much?”
Does your fake smile make you look like a pervert serial killer with too many teeth? What is the appropriate angle your lips should position themselves into when meeting an ex? Why isn't 180-degree acceptable?
10. “I hope I don’t say anything that indicates I have been stalking him on Facebook”
And most important of all, if you do talk to him and exchange pleasantries, with every question you ask, there will be a loud voice reminding you: "Don't say anything that will let him know you already know what's up in his life via Facebook!"
GIFs: Tumblr, Giphy
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Published on May 24, 2016